The Dragon Twin Sisters
by VicEveSamAlex
Summary: The Akatsuki's recruiting two members,sister of Kisame and sister of Deidara. Then, they quickly regret it. The girls got sneak written all over them. I mean letting two girls join a S-rank gang full of men? Whose stupid idea was that? Sasorixoc Hidanxoc
1. Joining the Akatsuki

The Dragon Twin Sisters

Hiri: "Painter of the winds"

Deidara's twin sister

Age: 19 and two minutes, 43 seconds older than Deidara

Height: 5 feet 5 inches

Weight: Why do you care?

Gender: Female

Blood type: AB

Ring: Snake

Ring Position: Right pinkie

Abilites: She has a very good chakra supply, but uses it unwisely. Hiri has an earth and wind-style justu. Including exploding clay, she has another important justu: the _art of the wind_. Like Sai, she using a paintbrush. She enters chakra into the paintbrush and manipulates wind to paint weapons, animals, etc. in midair. Her art is fleeting and departing quickly. No genjustu. Tai-justu is excellent. She doesn't have the scope like Deidara, but she sharp eyes that can see long distances. Long-distance.

Classification: Anbu; then S- rank Missing-ninja

From: Konoha

Usually wears: Whatever she wants

Personaility: A loud Jashin who loves to fight. She loves sacrificing people to Jashin. She always ends in "yep" or "sure". She is a very peculiar person.

BF: Hidan

Appearance: Looks like a younger and more feminine version of Deidara.

Hesper Hoshgaki- "Demon of the water"

Kisame's younger sister

Age: 19

Height: 5 feet 8 inches

Weight: Not telling

Gender: Female

Blood Type: O

Ring: Shark

Ring Position: Left index finger

Abilities: Hesper fights recklessly. She never plans things out. Rather large chakra supply. Hesper excels in Earth, wind, water, fire, and lighting. However, her favorite is water because of her ability to speak to fish. The water that she manipulates comes alive (literally). She can turn into water. She sucks at genjustu and highly respects Itachi's sharigun. She is fine at taijustu. Hiri wields a large curved sword (pictured below).

Classification: Anbu

From: Konoha

Personaility: She has many mood swings. She is a very interesting person. She gives a nickname for everyone she meets. She claims that she water is art and should last forever in memory.

Usually wears: A T-shirt and black pants. She _never _wears skirts, makeup, or dress. Hiri is also considering cloaks a no.

Appearance: Does not look like Kisame. She has long aqua blue hair. Her eyes are cold and grey. She also has _very _sharp teeth.

BF: Sasori

Story starts:

*Kisame's Pov*

Deidara and I were summoned to Leader's office for a mission. In the back of my head, I wondered why Leader-sama (A/N: Sama is a term used to people that you respect highly.) paired me with Deidara and Tobi (A/N: Tobi is in the Akatsuki in this story). I mean I can work _much _better with Itachi or Sasori. The main thing I was thinking about was how annoying Tobi can be.

"What you do think Kisame-san? Is Tobi a good boy? Is he? Is he?"

I sighed. "Deidara, how do you put up with him?"

Deidara smirked. "Like this."

Deidara turned around to Tobi. He grabbed his shoulders and begun shaking him violently. "Shut up, Tobi! You are not a good boy!"

Tobi cried. "Tobi thought he was a good boy."

I sighed. This mission was going to be long.

Deidara knocked on the door, and we entered the dark gloomy cave. (Hiri: Do all bad guys like the color black? Hesper: No! Itachi is a bad guy, and he likes the color pink. Hiri: O.o)

Leader looked up from his pile of paper that was sitting in front of him. "Tobi? What are you doing here? I didn't summon you here!"

Tobi waved his arms. "Tobi wanted to ask Leader-sama if Tobi is a good boy?"

Leader rubbed his temples. "What I have to do in order to gain world domation." He coughed. "Yes Tobi, now go run along to Sasori. I think he helps help to fix his puppets."

Tobi cheered. "Tobi will be a good boy and help Sasori." He ran out of the room. After 5 seconds, Tobi quickly ran back. "Leader-sama? Where's Sasori's room?"

"Down the hall third door to the left." Leader sighed, already very used to this.

"Which hand is the left again?"

"Just go now."

"Yes sir!"

"Now Kisame, Deidara, you two are going to recruit two members for the Akatsuki. They both live in Konoha. Both are Anbu members, so be very careful."

I frowned. "Leader-sama, with all due respect, why were we picked to go after these two?"

Leader closed his eyes. "These two are much more powerful than all of the Akatsuki. If they refuse to join and attack, the members I send will be done for. I think you have a good chance since you know these two."

"Okay what are the guys' names?" Deidara asked.

Leader chucked. "These _girls _are Hiri and Hesper." He pulled out two pictures. "Your sisters."

*Narrator and Konoha*

It was a quiet,normal day in Konoha. (Hesper: They don't get a lot of those, do they? Hiri: Shh.) Leaves rustled in the light breeze. The wind circled again the Hokage Mountain. Shopping in the streets and laughing at each others comments, civilians were enjoying the beautiful day. Birds flew over the houses. Nothing could disturb the quiet, peaceful afternoon.

"HESPER, HIRI! GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK!!!" Well, nothing expect for that.

"Hiri, quick I'll distract him while you go on ahead." Hesper waved while running as fast as she could.

"Are you sure that _you _won't get distracted? You know, with you're ADHA and all, yep." Hiri frowned.

"I'll be fine. Go!" Hesper turned around to face the wrath of Kakashi. "Hey, Scarecrow-senpai (A/N: Kakashi means scarecrow. Senpai is a term used to people in same class of higher status or age) look at this!"

Hesper pulled out an orange manual for fixing washing machines that looked like Icha Icha Paradise. "Come get it!"

"Give it!" He lunged.

Hesper smirked. "Oh, maybe I'll give it a wash in the river. Or maybe it would appeal to your students liking? Or maybe I can use it as a chew toy for ninja dogs. What do you think Scarecrow-senpai?"

Kakashi had a very dangerous glare in his right eye. "You so much as lay one finger on the book, and I will kill you. And that's a washing machine manual you're holding."

"Frosted Fudge Muffins! Hiri! Run faster! He saw through my clever trick."

Kakashi anime sweatdropped. He waved his hand. "It wasn't that clever."

Hesper was too far away to hear him.

15 minutes later, Hiri and Hesper ran to the training ground that had three logs. Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto were quietly talking to each other when the two thieves (Hiri: I'm not a thief! How dare the author call me a thief. I'll show that…) ran from the bushes.

Hesper sat down and tried to catch her breath. "He won't catch us here."

Hiri frowned as see looked at Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. "Who are they, yep?"

Hesper looked at Naruto like he was a bowl of ramen and licked her lips. "Their Kakashi's brats. SasuGAY, Saruto, and fangirl."

Sasuke growled. "I'm not gay."

Naruto frowned. "My name's Naruto not Saruto. I'm going to be the Hokage. Believe it!"

Hesper laughed. "A bowl of ramen would sooner become the Hokage than you."

Sakura frowned. "Who are you guys?"

"Hiri, painter of the winds. And the girl with the blue hair? That's Hesper, the queen of idiots, yep." Hiri smiled.

"Hesper, demon of the water," Hesper corrected.

"What are two Anbus doing here?" Sasuke asked.

"We're running away from Kakaski-senpai, yep."

Naruto put that fox-like smile on his face again. "Why?"

"Kid, we've heard that you're a pretty good prankster, but nothing can beat us. We've bleach Iruka's hair white. We've stole the Hokage's hat and sold it on ebay. We've trapped Anko in a ditch. We've spread and rumor that Might Gui was gay. And now, we have stolen Kakashi's book."

"Gime the book!" Naruto lunged for the book.

Hiri anime sweatdropped. "I don't think that he was a pervert, yep."

Naruto grabbed the book out of Hiri's hands and quickly opened to the first page. A large poof and Kakashi appeared behind Hiri and Hesper.

Hiri calmly turned around. "Hey Kakashi-senpai, yep."

Hesper was not as cool and collected as her best friend. "I swear I didn't do it! I swear I did not steal your book! I did not do it! Whatever you want, I don't have."

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Hesper, where's the book?"

"Down the well, yep." Hiri grinned slyly.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Hesper, what did you do to my poor book?"

Hesper looked over to Naruto. "It seems like your students are enjoying the book."

Naruto had a bloody nose. With his wide eyes, open mouth, and fox-like grin, it was hard not to feel uneasy.

Kakashi quickly snatched the book away from Naruto's grasp. "500 laps around Konoha. You too Hesper and Hiri."

"You can't order us around. We're both Anbu, yep." Hiri protested.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're the worst Anbu I've ever seen."

Hesper and Hiri were on him in a flash. There was a clay dragon wrapped around Sasuke's legs. Ropes of water were tying Sasuke to the ground. Hiri held a painted kunai to his neck. Hesper held her curved sword, Umionito (A/N: Water demon sword), to Sasuke's head while two water swords were pointing to his heart.

"What did you say, boy?" Hesper whispered sounded like a demon.

Sasuke tried not to gulp. "Nothing."

Kakashi chuckled. "Sasuke, when they were 7 they joined the Anbu. When they were 8, they surpassed me. They're not the worst Anbu. Hiri and Hesper are known as the Dragon twins. They both use dragons in their justu."

Hesper immediately growled at Kakashi. "It's not justu. It's art!"

Hiri nodded. "Art is fleeting and short." The dragon around Sasuke's legs flew to the air. "Art is so lovely because it's there one moment, and it's gone around. _Katsu! _Art is a bang, yep!!!"

Hesper chuckled. "That's your idea of art? As much as I respect you Hiri, that's a lame idea of art. Art is supposed to last for a long time or maybe for eternally." The water swords turned into a water dragon. "It lasts forever. In the memory and in the heart." The water dragon turned towards the sky and flew off.

Kakashi sighed. "Are you guys still fighting over that? What is it? A 12 years old argument?"

"13, yep." Hiri corrected.

Kakashi sighed. "And I almost forgot the reason why I quit the Anbu."

After 5 hours, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, and Naruto had left because Naruto was hungry and suggested that Kakashi treated them to ramen.

The two friends decided to hang out together.

Hesper sensed something watching them. She looked over to Hiri. Did she know the growing danger? "Hey Hiri, you know that my pet rat's grown another tail. Now she has two." Hesper and Hiri have known each other for so long that they made up codes. When someone was following them, they said the word "Tail" and said the number of people who were tailing them.

Hiri nodded. "I already know that. Remember? You told me."

After five minutes, the strangers were still there.

Hiri nodded again. "Now, sure!"

Hiri turned around and quickly painted special kunai that had wings. After she was done, the kunai flew and hit their target. Hesper made shuriken out of water and aimed them at the enemies.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Hesper shouted. "If you're Gui, then you have 3 seconds before we come kick your butt."

Deidara and Kisame stepped out of the bushes.

Hiri gasped. "Dei-dei? Is that you, yep?"

Deidara smiled. "The one and only, yeah."

Hesper narrowed her eyes. "Hey fishsticks, who are you?"

Kisame did an amine fall while Deidara slapped his knees, and begun laughing at Kisame's expression.

"I'M NOT A FISH!!! I'M A SHARK!!! A DANGEROUS DEMON SHARK! FEAR ME!!! ROWR!!!!"

"Sure you are, Nemo."

"Don't you remember me?"

Hesper frowned and rubbed her chin. "Large sword…ugly appearance…sharp teeth…quick to be angered…" She gasped. "You're Zabuza! Right?"

Kisame cried. "You don't remember me?"

"You're Haku right?"

"Hesper, Haku's dead, yep." Hiri sweatdropped.

"Oh, really? No wonder he stopped calling me."

Kisame frowned. "Don't you remember calling me sushi?"

Deidara was red from the lack of oxygen.

"Kisame??!?! That's you!! You're different. You smell terrible. You look like something that the Loch Ness monster swallowed and spat back out."

Kisame sighed. "After all those years, you'll still the same."

"Nah, I've grown a few feet."

Kisame sighed. "No, I meant mentally."

"Phsew, I gotton stronger mentally. I don't have ADHD anymo-hey look a flower!!!"

Hiri hit her on the head. "Pay attention, yep!"

Hesper frowned. "I'm paying attention to the flower!"

Deidara sighed. "She's like Tobi, yeah."

Hesper looked up at Deidara. "Who's the ugly blondie, Kisame?"

"I'm not a blondie…I'm also not ugly, yeah!!" Deidara yelled. "And my name is known throughout all of the shinob (sp?) world. Everyone trembles at the mere whisper of my name. The very heavens shake when they think of my name. It is written in everyone's mermory. It is Deidara. It is,"

"Never heard of it." Hesper cut in.

"It's written in every bingo book, yeah." Deidara said.

"I never read the bingo book." Hesper confirmed.

Hiri sighed. "Why didn't you read the bingo book, yep?"

Hesper smilied. "Because I threw into the bonfire."

Kisame sweatdropped. "She's _worse _than Tobi."

"What you guys doing here, umm?" Hiri barked.

"Going Christmas shopping," Kisame said.

Hesper jumped up and down. "It's Christmas already?!! Why didn't you tell me, Hiri?!?! We were going to give Sasuke to Orochimaru as a Christmas present!!!"

Hiri sighed. "It's June, umm."

"We wanted to recruit you to the Akatsuki. You wanna join?" Kisame asked.

Hiri and Hesper looked at each other. They nodded. "Yeah, what the heck /umm?"

Hesper sighed. "I have nothing better to do."

Hiri frowned. "We just like to say something…"

Hesper nodded. "Where in the world did you get such awesome hats?!?!?!?"

Kisame sighed. "You want to join for the hats?"

Hiri shook her head. "No, we want to join for the hats and the cloaks!! They're awesome, yep!!!"

Deidara sighed. "Idiots."

"We are not idiots!!!!!" Hesper yelled. She grabbed Deidara's shoulders and started to shake them violently. "Get it right, blondie!"

Kisame nodded. "Still the same sister."


	2. Jumping of cliffs and meeting Leader

*3 hours later*

"Kisame, are we there yet?" whined Hesper.

"Almost," said Kisame.

…

…

"Are we there now?" she whined.

"Almost,"

Deidara smirked. "You'll just like Sasori. Always so impatient."

She ignored his comment and kept bugging Kisame. "Are we there?"

"No,"

"How much longer?"

"A few hours." he answered.

"Is it a few hours now?"

"No,"

"Kisame, I'm hungry." she said.

"So?"

"I'm _really _hungry."

Hiri panicked. "Kisame, the last time she was _really _hungry she ate a tiger…in 5 minutes, hmmm."

…

"Eat your arm," he said.

"Okay," She savagely bit down on her arm, causing blood to drip down. She let go and started to cough. "It doesn't taste good, and now I'm thirsty."

Deidara immediately panicked at the sight of her blood. "Hesper are you okay?"

"No, I'm thirsty."

"Stop annoying me."

"But that isn't going to solve any of my problems."

…

…

"Kisame, are we there yet?"

Kisame sighed. "Please god, kill me now. Hiri, how can you stand her?"

Hiri pulled out the earplugs from her ears. "What did you say, yep?"

Kisame went mad. "YOU HAD EARPLUGS, AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE SOME TO ME!!!! I WAS SUFFERING FOR 3 WHOLE HOURS LISTENING TO MY BROKEN RECORDER OF A SISTER GO ON AND ON AND ON AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO HELP ME??!!!!!"

Hiri thought for a moment. "Your point?"

Kisame turned to Deidara. "What about you? You think my sister's annoying?"

Deidara blushed. "Umm…umm," He changed the subject. "Look we're at the cliff, yeah."

There was a 1,000 feet cliff. One wrong step and you'll smash to your death.

There was a moment of silence.

"We have to go down this cliff."

Hesper and Hiri were shaking uncontrollably. Their hair masked their expressions. Were they laughing or shivering?

"Don't worry guys. Don't be scared." Kisame put one hand on his sister's shoulders.

Hesper lift her head and smiled from ear to ear. Hiri was laughing. "This is so awesome."

Hiri smirked. "I bet I'll get to the bottom first, yep."

Hesper smiled. "No, I will."

Hiri frowned. "No, I will."

They had a glaring contest. Hiri won. Hesper may have the best smile, but Hiri had a glare that beat Itachi.

Hesper grinned. "5 bucks that I make it down first."

"10, yep."

"20."

"30, yep."

"100 goes to the first person that makes it down there." Hesper grinned.

Deidara stepped toward them. "Guys, this is a very dangerous place. You can't fool around here. It will take about 1 week to get down there. So you guys be careful, yeah."

Hesper smiled. "Screw you."

Hiri started the race. "On your marks. Get set. GO!!!!!"

They both sprinted and jumped over the edge. Hiri laughed and spread her arms and feet like a belly flop. Hesper grabbed her sword and jumped over the edge, using her sword like a skateboard.

Kisame fainted. His sister and her friend just jumped off a cliff.

Deidara was not happy. "OMG!!!! They jumped off a cliff!!!!!! They're going to die!!! They're going to die!!!! Quick Kisame!!!! We're going to have to make up an excuse for their deaths!!!!!! What are we going to do!!!!!! We're in trouble!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!" He was having a heartattack.

Kisame sighed and looked over the edge. Hiri had black wings that were draw on her back as she was spinning down. Hesper had waves of water come out from the side of the cliff and used her sword as a surfboard.

Hesper wooted. "This is awesome!!!!! C'mon Kisame!!!!!"

*1 hour later*

Kisame growled. "Finally."

Hiri was counting up her money that she won.

Hesper pretended to cry. "You guys all hate me. Everyone hates me. Everyone tells me to go die in a burning hole of fire. Everyone wants me dead. You know what? I'll just go in my emo corner." She went in her special emo corner.

"I don't want you dead Hesper! I'll be your friend." Deidara grinned.

Kisame frowned. "You pervert."

Hesper quickly stood back up. "Thank you Baka-kun (A/N: Baka means idiot. Kun means male friend."

Deidara was anime crying when they walked to the leader's office.

*Leader's pov*

I was doing some important paperwork when there was a knock on the door. I told the person/people to come in not bothering to look up. It was probably Tobi asking when he could go Trick or Treating (Pein: Don't ask.) The person coughed. Quickly, I looked up. To my surprise, Kisame and Deidara were back from their mission, looking as if they were just walking in the park. I thought they would be missing limbs, bleeding, and cursing under their breath while they dragged the new members (Hesper: *cough* cough* victims). Instead, Deidara kept glancing at Hesper while Hiri and Kisame were yelling at him for staring at his/her sister/friend.

"You're back? Already?"

Deidara smirked. "We did not run into any problems, yeah."

Kisame snorted. "Hesper is Problem #1 while Hiri was Problem #2."

"What did I do, hmm?" Hiri asked.

"You let me listen to her rant on and on about art. I was about to kill myself. You guys also gave me a heart attack when you guys jumped off the cliff."

I sighed. I have to go through a lot to get world domination. I feel sorry for myself. I have to deal with a bunch of idiots everyday. Who wouldn't feel sorry for me?

I cleared my throat. "So Hiri, Hesper. Are you two going to join the Akatsuki?"

"Of course we are yep! Believe It/Yeah!" Hiri and Hesper said at the same time.

Why did I have a very very bad feeling about this. "Fine you guys are in. Here are your hats and cloaks. Kisame and Deidara will show you around and tell you where your rooms are. Tomorrow, I will have you guys tested against one of the Akatsuki members. If you pass, you get a ring. If you don't…well…let's just leave it at that."

"But the Konoha Anbu will come looking for us, yep."

I smirked. "We placed a forbidden justu that won't allow people we don't like to enter our hideout."

"I just have two questions." Hesper scratched her chin. "Does it hurt when you sneeze with all that piercing on you? And is it magnetic?"

I frowned. "Why do you ask that?"

Hesper grinned. Her smile scared me. Not a lot of things could scare me. But they way she smirked sent shivers down my spine. PRANKSTERS ALERT!!! PRANKSTER ALERT!!! I almost turned around to see if there were any kunai that she placed there. I better watch my back now.

"No, it's not uncomfortable to sneeze. And yes it is magnetic."

Her grin was wider. "Just checking."

Deidara tugged on The Dragon Twin's sleeve's. "C'mon guys let me show you around."

Deidara, Hiri, and Hesper walked down the hall. I sighed and dismissed Kisame. Back to paperwork. I picked up the pen. Just as I was going to write down a word, the pen flew and attached itself to my piercings. I groaned. No wonder Hesper asked if my piercing was magnetic. I was definitely going to watch my back.


	3. Meeting moldly vegtable part 1

*Hesper's pov*

Deidara dragged us down the hall to the living room. He kept telling us about Sasori, his partner. I had to smile. A guy who was a puppet? That I had to respect. Puppets last for the longest in your memory. Just like my idea of art. I just had to meet this "Sasori". Kisame already told me about Itachi. He killed his whole clan expect for his little brother, SasGay, whom I meet prior. Heh. Prior is such a funny word. It sounds so funny. C'mon, you try saying it out loud.

"Oi! Look people two new members! Meet Hiri and Hesper, yeah!!!!" Deidara burst into the living room not bothering to knock.

I looked at the Akatsuki. There was a guy with silver gelled hair. A guy with a mask and red and green eyes counting a stack of money sitting next to the guy with silver hair on the sofa. A person that looked like a moldy vegetable was sitting on the sofa watching at the soap opera. A man with an orange mask tugging the plant guy's sleeve. A girl with blue hair was sitting at the table reading a newspaper. A red-haired person who was working on some puppets. A tired looking person with long hair was trying not to cry when Jennifer found out that Matt was cheating on her.

Hiri quickly looked at the silver haired person. "Hidan?!?!"

Hidan nearly gagged. "Hiri? Is that you?"

Instead of answering the question she smiled. "I didn't think you would join the Akatsuki, yep!" She ran over to hug him.

Deidara nearly chocked. "Hidan's your boyfriend? I had never seen Hidan hug anyone."

Hiri smiled. "Of course he's my boyfriend, yep."

I smiled. "So he's the reason why you converted to Jashin?"

Deidara begun to freak out. "You're a Jashin?"

Hiri smiled. "I'm an immortal Jashin, yeah."

The vegetable walked over. "Hello it's nice to meet you I'm Zetsu. **Can I eat you?**" (A/N: The bolded letters are Zetsu's black side.)

I smiled. A cannibal! Awesome. He looked like a vegetable!! Awesomer!! "No, you can not eat me because I taste terrible." I bit my own forearm again. Because of my very sharp teeth, my whole arm was bleeding. "See? I don't taste good."

Deidara begun to freak out when he saw my arm (again).

Hiri looked at Zetsu. "OMG! You're a vegetable, sure!"

I looked closely. What kind of vegetable was he? "He's a cabbage!"

Hiri snorted. "No, he's a radish, sure!"

A raddish? C'mon, Zetsu did not look like a radish. "He looks like a carrot."

"How does he look like a carrot, yep?"

"His hair. It's awesome like a carrot."

"Wait. You're black and white. Does that mean you're a moldy carrot, sure?"

Zetsu sighed. "No. **Why would you think I'm a moldy carrot?!?!**"

I stared that his plant-thingy. "OMG!! You're a pineapple!!! Right?"

Zetsu had an anime vein. "I am a venus flytrap."

I stared at him. How awesome could this guy get? "Venus flytraps are awesome!!!!" I was going to get along with this guy just fine. I hope his likes to tend gardens. I love flowers. They're so pretty. Expect when they try to eat me.

Someone snuck up behind me and hugged me. "HESPER-CHAN (A/N: chan is a Japanese term used for female friends.)!!!!"

I looked behind me. It was Tobi (aka Lollipop or Pumpkin face)!!! We meet each other on an A-ranked mission I had. "Lollipop!!!" I hugged him. "Long-time no see!"

"Does Hesper-chan think Tobi's a good boy?"

I giggled. "Of course Tobi's a good boy! He is always a good boy!!"

Tobi did a little dance. "Hesper-chan, last time you said you would give me candy on January 34th, 1745 (AN: the year is 2009)! Can Tobi have his candy a little earlier?"

Everyone gave me a WTF look.

I twitched. I totally forgot about that bet. "It's not January yet but here, I have a chocolate bar."

Tobi went nuts. He kept hugging me and jumping up and down and at the end I thought I would suffocate if Deidara don't step in a save me.

"Tobi loves Hesper-chan!" He giggled.

I sighed. I just _had _to give him a sweet sugar-filled candy didn't I.

I looked at the creepy guy with the money. "Who are you?"

He glared at me. "Name's Kakuzu."

I looked at him. "Do you like money?"

Hidan snorted. "That's his only hobby."

I smiled. People who loved money were easy to blackmail and use. This was too perfect.

The guy with long hair looked at me. "You know who I am."

I smiled. "Nope."

"You don't know me?"

"Long-hair, sharigun (sp?), loves soap opera, looks like barf," I said out loud to myself. "Ugly in appearance…."

Deidara looked at me. "Do you have a death wish?"

I ignored him. "You're my uncle Joe right?"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Oh!!!! Are you the girl who Kisame kissed in 4th grade!!!!!"

He sighed. "No."

"Then you are most definitely SasGay's brother. Is it Asuma or is it Kiba? No, wait that was the little boy's name. I remember it started with an I. Ino?"

Deidara and Hiri started laughed, unaware of the killer aura radiating from the sadist next to them.

"It's Itachi."

"But I like the name Ino better." Hesper whined. "Besides, it matches you perfectly." (AN: Ino means pig in Japanese)

Before Itachi could wrangle the girl, Deidara came to the rescue. "Hesper-chan, I want you to meet Sasori."

I practically leapt out to meet him. I want to meet a puppet master! I mean a person made out of wood? A perfect prank to pull on them. I mean just lit his fist on fire; then he would be freaking out! Hilarious! Believe me. I tried it on some kid named Kankuro who was a puppet master. He freaked out! I was really going to like Sasori.


	4. Meeting modly vegtable part 2

I looked a Sasori who was short and fat, and then I gasped. "OMG! I saw you in a movie! Come here, Hiri, look! Doesn't he remind you of someone?"

Hiri squinted. "Oh yeah! He was in a movie! Wasn't he the star or something, yep?"

"Yeah! Remember? He was a terrible singer."

Sasori showed no expression. Instead, he said. "What are you talking about?"

"Pinocchio! The dancing singing puppet!"

"I AM NOT-"

Hiri nodded. "I totally agree with the puppet. Turning into a boy was the right choice, yep."

I growled, showing my sharp teeth. "Are you joking? That was the worst mistake of his life! He could have been immortal! He could have lasted forever as art!"

She glared at me. "You and your stupid ideas about art! Art's supposed to be fleeting and short. sure!"

Fleeting and short? Phseew. Who brainwashed her? "Art's lasts forever in the memory and in the soul."

Tobi stood up and raised his hand. "Can Tobi say something about art?"

"NO!" They both shouted at him.

Sasori looked at me in shock, probably wondering how anyone knew that he was a movie star.

A girl with blue hair came up to us. "Hello, my name's Blue."

I smiled, trying to figure her out. "Hello. It's name to meet you, Blue."

Hiri looked at me in horror. "Since when were you polite, yep?"

"Since when did you let yourself be surprised?"

"Well…well…you're ugly, yep."

I sweatdropped. "That was bad."

"Well, I can't come up with comebacks that fast, yep."

"Yeah, it's already a miracle that you can read, best not to push our luck."

"And that's coming from the one with moodswings, yep."

"I do not have moodswings."

"Yeah you do." She swung around to Kisame. "Does she have mood swings, yep?"

My "faithful" brother nodded. "Yes."

"Well…well…you stink." I said.

She sweatdropped. "That was horrible, yep."

"Well, I can't come up with comebacks that fast."

"Yeah., it's already a miracle- hey wait! Didn't we take about this already, yep?"

Everyone sweatdropped.

I screwed my face in concentration. "It escaped my mind."

"Like everything else that does, yep."

I glared at her.

* * *

Sorry that was so short! I promise to update soon. My aplogies!

Kisame: You spelled it wrong.

Author: Do I care?

Kisame: Well, you should.

Author: Why?

Kisame: Well...Itachi had this pet peeve with spelling errors...

Author: And?

Kisame: Well...he's probably going to kill you....

Author: And?

Kisame: You would be dead!

Author: Phseew. I have the whole Autsuki on my side! Right guys?

Pein: You're on your own.

Blue: Umm...I'm busy...umm...feeding the...er...cat!

Tobi: Tobi is helping Deidara-senpai like a good boy. (Senpai is a term you use for someone older than you.)

Hidan: Fuck no.

Kakuzu: Will you pay me?

Deidara: No.

Sasori: You lit my puppets on fire. How could I say yes?

Itachi: ....

Zetsu: Maybe later**. After I eat you.**

Kisame: I'm sorry but no.

Hiri: 5 bucks that Itachi kicks the Author's butt in 5 seconds, yep.

Hesper: Are you kidding me?! The author is way better than weasel face.

Author: Thank you!

Hesper: Only because she gives me spray paint.

Hidan: So you're the fucking one who fucking spray painted my fucking hair! Lord Jashin will have your soul!!

Hesper: *glances at Itachi* already there Hidan, already there.


	5. By Jashin, what did they do?

Hiri's pov.

The Akatsuki base was quiet. Everyone was quiet and sleeping peacefully in their beds. Well…nearly everyone. Tobi, Hesper, and I were awake and up to no good. I mean…when are we not, hmm?

I pushed the button on the walkie talkie that I strapped around my neck. "The ship has landed. I repeat. The ship has landed. Over, yep."

"Good." Hesper said. "I set the clones. Over."

"Um Hiri-chan?" (Chan is a term used for female friends) Tobi asked. "What ship?"

I smacked my head. "It means I set the bomb! And you're supposed to say over at the end! Over, yep."

"Why?" He whined.

I smirked. "Cause it says cool. Over, yep."

"Right." Hesper coughed. "Tobi are you done yet? Over."

"Tobi is done swapping Itachi's shampoo with purple hair dye!"

"Great." She replied. "Say put. I'll come to you. Over."

I smiled. Hesper was always far more mature and patient when she was pranking people. It goes to show that I taught her well right? I led her from her immoral ways to the saintlike ways of the Jashin. No need to thank me. I'm already you're biggest star. No need to thank me.

"Hiri, check all the members. If one of them seeming to be waking, knock them out. Over."

I smiled. "The painful or the non painful way? Over, yep."

There was a pause. "The painful way on Itachi and the non-painful way on everyone else. Over."

"But that's no fun Hesper. Over, yep." I whined.

"Too bad. If they fine out they've been kicked where the sun don't shine, they're be mad…especially Weasel-face… after all he needs it. Over." she sighed.

I was mentally scared.

"Hesper-chan. Where is the sun don't shine part?" Tobi asked.

"Um…" Hesper started. "Ask Deidara when he wakes up. Over."

I sighed. This was dragging out to long. Soon, people will wake up.

"Are you guys ready? Over, yep."

"Ready on the go. Over."

I smirked. Operation "morning call" was ready to go. "KATSU!! Art is a bang!"

BOOM! The bomb I carefully set exploded. The halls were covered in pink paint. The sound was so loud that the noise was ringing in my ears. Replaying and replaying again and again. Was I going crazy? No! I must not go crazy!!!! Last time I went crazy The Hokage knocked me out!!! Must get back to subject! The doors burst open and I slipped into Kakuzu's bedroom. I MUST not be discovered.

"Who the fuck did this?!" roared a certain gray-haired Jashin that was my boyfriend.

"Why are the walls all pink?" asked a quiet puppet master.

"Why was I woken up?!"

"Who disturbed my beauty sleep?" Itachi said.

I wided my eyes. The all famous sadist, Itachi, was interrupted from his beauty sleep…this can't be good. Itachi gets crabby when he doesn't get enough sleep. Oh shoot.

"It was a bomb." Sasori stated calmly. Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! "The only two people who are experts in art are Deidara and…that newbie."

Newbie? I was a newbie?! I'll show that wooden puppet! I am a talented artist!

Hesper slipped inside the room. "Do you have the cans?" she whispered softly.

I nodded. "I have purple and red spray paint, yep."

She nodded. "Good enough. Tobi's doing Deidara and Sasori's rooms. I called Kisame and Itachi's room. Can you do the rest?"

I nodded.

Good. She disappeared into water. A water clone.

I smiled and twirled the spray paint in my hands. This would be fun.

Deidara POV

Who on earth did this? I was sleeping dreaming of Hesper when _someone _set a bomb! Seriously, who was twisted enough to set a bomb at 5 o'clock in the morning??!! I mean, they must have a death wish. I don't remember the last person who disturbed Itachi's beauty sleep and lived.

"C'mon," I yawned. "Why don't we just go back to sleep, yeah?" I walked back to my room and flickered on the lights. Oh. My. God.

Words were spray painted everywhere.

_"Tobi IS a good boy!"_

_"Art is NOT a blast!"_

_"Art is gay."_

_"Deidara is a Barbie."_

Oh. My. God. Who the hell done this?!?! Why did they do this?! They will pay! I bet it's Tobi. I bet one million bucks it's Tobi. That boy will pay! I. Am. Not. A. Woman!!! How dare that boy write that on my walls. Wait. I was struck with a sudden thought. Was it removable?!?!?!? Oh please tell me it is!

I ran to Kisame's room, about to ask him to use his water justu to wash down my room…but.

_"Sushi is good."_

_"You are blue! Ha!"_

_"I know what happened when you were a genin…and I'm telling everyone."_

"Um…Kisame, unn?"

Kisame was twitching. A very bad sign.

I ran towards everyone's rooms.

_"Tobi is a loser!" _

_"Sasori is a weirdo."_

_"Itachi is gay."_

_"Jashin burnt all your money."_

_"Jashin will like to say that Hidan should shut up."_

_"We would like to tell Itachi that his family has all turned into zombies and are out for revenge."_

_"Kankuro is now deemed the coolest and bestest puppet master."_

_"We stole all your money Kakuzu."_

_"Okay, Blue, it's cool that you're made out of paper…but what if someone who was made out of scissors came along…won't you be screwed?"_

_"Itachi…you suck."_

_"Hidan is a idiot."_

_"Itachi, we would like to tell you that Orochimaru is your gay half-brother. And yes he is out to get you." _

_"And we would you all have a terrible time."_

_"Peace out!"_

_"RAMEN ROCKS!!!"_

_"Is Tobi a good boy?"_

_"All this art work was done by non other than the infamous Kisame."_

Kisame did this? The ever polite Kisame did this? No way.

Hidan was running to all the rooms like I was doing. "I am not a fucking idiot!"

In a matter of minutes, everyone was in the middle of chaos.

I tried to Kisame in the face but his large sword got in the way. Right when I drew my fist back, Hidan landed a punch on my face, throwing me into the oppisite wall. When I was getting up, I accdiently tripped over the fallen shark. As the shark got onto his feet, Kakuzu kicked Kisame on the head. Meanwhile, Tobi was screaming on the top of his lungs.

"No!! Tobi is a good boy!!"

"You fucking bastard! You fucking did it didn't you?"

I growled. "Katsu! Art is a bang!"

"You burned all my money didn't you?!" roared Kakuzu.

"Who said I was blue? I want an apology!"

Fists flew. Egos were hurt. Swears were exchanged (mostly by Hidan). Hairs were pulled (well…Itachi's and mine were). Tears were shed. Bruises were made. I was just about to punch Hidan in the face. Then, Itachi made an important discovery.

He turned on his Sharigun. "Wait! I know who did this." He pointed to Tobi, Hesper, and Hiri who were leaning against the wall watching all the action.

They looked alarmed.

"Shit!" Hiri said. "We were found!"

"Hiri-chan shouldn't curse because she's a good girl!"

"It was bound to happen. I'm just surprised that it took them that long." the beautiful Hesper said. Then they poofed away.

"Clones?" I asked. Unbelievable! It was a clone that was made out of water, fire, shadow, and earth! Hesper could do that?

"Damn you Hiri," I growled. "Where are you?"

A disemboweled voice spoke up. "We only exist in your mind. We don't exist at all. We're here, there, nowhere, and everywhere."

I frowned in concentration. That made no sense at all.

Another disemboweled voice read my mind. "Tobi is confused Hiri-chan."

"Shut up, Tobi! You ruined the moment, yep!"

"What moment?" asked Hesper's booming voice.

"The thinking moment, yep."

"Oh…" muttered Hesper, confused.

"So…now what do we do to them, yep?" Hiri's voice spoke up.

"I dunno," Hesper said. "Poison their drinks?"

"Tobi has an idea!"

"What Lollipop?"

"We make them watch Elmo!!!!!"

There was silence. Oh crap…not elmo. Anything but that. Please not elmo. Please Kami I beg of you. (A/N: Kami is god in Japanese).

"Well…" started Hesper, thinking.

"Awesome!! Let's torture those fucking bastards, yep!!!" My sister said.

"Don't you think they suffered enough humiliation?" said the ever so kind beautiful Hesper.

There was a pause.

"On the other hand…it couldn't hurt. Does anyone have the remote?" Said the not so kind beautiful Hesper.

"Tobi has it!"

"Awesome! What channel is Elmo on?" asked Kisame's sister.

"49, yep?" asked Hiri.

"No, that's the soap that Weasel watchs." corrected Hesper. "32?"

"That's Kisame's shark channel Hesper-chan. Is it 56?" asked Tobi.

"No, that's the cool cooking show that Zetsu-kun watchs. 12?" wondered Hesper.

"That's the boring economy thing that Kakuzu watchs, yep."

"That show is no boring!!" yelled Kakuzu.

Itachi looked behind a door. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Fudge muffins with ramen broth!" shouted Hesper's normal voice. "They found us! We're cooked!"

They ran out of my room. Hesper in my room? Wow…that is just weird.

"SEXY NO JUSTU!!" yelled the pranksters.

Smoke was everywhere, but I could still see Tobi, Hesper, and Hiri and just whoa! Transformed into beautiful girls, they stucked posed for everyone. Wearing nothing, smoke covered them. They looked great! I fell on the floor with shock, blood gushing from my nose. Oh Kami, Hesper was hot.

I could hear the sound of running footsteps and laughter as I got up. Most the Akatsuki members that were pranked all had bloody noses and blushs. Surprisingly, I had the worst, and Itachi looked perfectly normal. I knew he was gay, yeah! Sasori-sama owns me 5 bucks!

"Oh Jashin, I love my girlfriend." Whispered Hidan.

"Hey, Kisame," I stood up on my shaking knees. "Your sister's single right, yeah?" I asked politely as possible.

"Yeah…she never had a boyfriend."

"I can see why." Mumbled the Uchina. (Hesper: That bastard!!! Why I outta- Hiri: Don't worry…remember that purple dye we put in his shampoo, yep? Hesper: Yeah why? Oh….revenge is sweet.)

Why do you ask?" Kisame asked.

I blushed and turned away. "No reason, hmmm."

I could feel Kakuzu, Sasori, and Zetsu glare at me behind my back. So…I had competition, hmm?

Sasori sighed. "I'll get them." Using his chakra strings, he stopped the evil doers right in their tracks.

"I swear I didn't do it! I swear to Kami that I had no part in this!" said Hesper.

"It's Jashin you idiot, yep!" shouted Hiri.

"Tobi is a good boy! He is! He really is!"

Leader-sama was walking in the halls. He took one look at the trio who were hovering in midstep, the furious expression on our faces, and sighed. "I really don't want to know."

"I didn't do it!" protested Hesper.

"I have the right to remain silent! You will never make me talk!" screamed Hiri.

"Tobi is a really really really good boy!"

He slapped his face. "What I have to do to gain world peace. Right, Hesper and Hiri you're fight's in 10 minutes. Prepare yourself. Oh and Itachi? Clean up the mess please."

The trio, now off the hook, walked away laughed and chattering unaware of the killer aura coming from Itachi.

* * *

So? How was it?

Deidara: Horrible...I got a punch in the face, yeah.

Sasori: You deserved it.

Hesper: I can't wait for Itachi to take a shower.

...

Hiri: That sounded sooooo wrong, yes.

Hesper: Huh? Oh well, you know about the prank we are pulling on him. The one with the pu-

Hiri: SHHH!!!!

Deidara: What? What prank, hmm??

Sasori: I don't even want to know.

Hesper: Just be ready with a camera...

Hiri: For blackmailing, sure.

Sasori: Do you guys always speak in unison.

Hesper and Hiri: No (hmm).

The next part will be coming out soon! Finally, the fight between the Akatsuki!

* * *

Author: Finally I finished that!

Hidan: That sucked.

Author: *emo corner*

Hiri: That's not nice. just because we all secretly hated with all of our hearts doesn't mean that we hated it, yep.

Author:

Hesper: Well...the Itachi's face was priceless.

All Akatsuki expect for Itachi: Amen.


	6. Being Ticklish is a good thing

I'm so sorry it took this long! I just want to say thank you for those who have been reading this! i means a lot to me.

And sorry for any OOC (Out of character). This is my first story.

Sorry! *bows*

* * *

"Hiri! Behind you!" I pointed.

She blocked Kakuzu's leg with her arm. I surveyed the scene. Tobi, Pein, Konan (blue), and Zetsu were standing off to the side watching the Akatsuki battle with us with amused expressions. Hah. Two girls verses half of the Akatsuki. Girls rule! In your face Guy! I told you the sky was purple! Um…sorry…ADHD moment there. Well…Pein and Konan had funny looks on their faces. You couldn't tell what Tobi *cough**cough* Madara *cough**cough* was thinking, and Zetsu was having an argument with himself. The white half kept reminding the black half they were on a diet. The black half was complaining about Kakuzu's food. I didn't want to know.

I slammed down my sword, nearly slicing Sasori in half. Coming up with a counterattack, he opened a hatch in the puppet. Using, another puppet, I shielded myself from Sasori's various weapons. He had that curious smirk on his face, like he was waiting me to show my full potential or like I was an art piece. I shivered. Wow. That sounded so wrong in a wrong sort of way! I spent wayyy to much time with Jirirya and Kakashi. I "borrowed" the smoke bombs hidden inside the broken puppets. They were very useful…for pranks. I gazed at the piles of dolls lying on the floor while I was struck with a question that I will latter blame on my ADHD. Were puppets flammable? Good time to find out right? It couldn't hurt. "PHOENIX FIRE BALL JUSTU!!"

I blew fire on all the puppets, and Akatsuki members expect for Hiri. If I did she's probably get mad at me. ("What's your problem, umm?")

Well, today I learned that puppets are not flammable (much to my greater disappointment) and that was a total waste of chakra. The only thing I did was loosen the rock-hard soil. Would that be useful latter on?

"Katsu!" yelled a male voice behind me. I quickly dodged the bomb by diving under another pile of puppets that Hiri blew up. Speaking of my best friend…

I looked at her and Itachi. She was in a genjustu! Damn! (Sorry Kisame…I won't swear again. Just don't put soap in my mouth!) She just left me to deal with the rest of the dumbbells? Thanks a lot! Not only did she leave me alone, but she left herself vulnerable. I sighed.

"Earth wall!" I yelled after performing the correct hand signs so a wall of rock blocked attacks from the pair.

A fist flew past me. I was lucky that I had short attention span or I wouldn't have seen that coming.

Hiri's POV…..hmm

The Mangekyo Sharingan. The third of the eight wonders of the Uchiha world. The second to the question of why they all liked to eat cheesecake, hmm. The first are their secret laughing fits. Not one non-uchiha ever saw them have laughing fits.

I was nailed to a cross surrounded by one million Itachi's holding swords, yep. That's already bad enough. I mean hanging around with one Itachi for more than 72 hours (2 full days, hm)? I mean it's so hard to have a civilized conservation with him, yep!

FLASHBACK FROM YESTERDAY

"Hey Itachi, hmm!" I waved with my hand.

"Hn." He turned around. I think he was disgusted that I had mouths on my hands.

"How are you today, yep?"

"Hn."

"Tobi told me that he wasn't supposed to be, as you put it, insanely hyper in the morning when others did not have their sacred cup of coffee and bubble bath in the morning. Is that true, hmm?"

"Hn."

We begun walking down a freakishly long hallway.

"Is that all you can say, hmm?"

"Hn." He continued. "Hning".

"That's really annoying, yep."

"Hn."

"I'm trying to talk to you!"

"Hn."

"Is that all you can say?

"Hn."

"And people say that I have speech problems, yeah!"

"Hn."

END OF FLASHBACK WITH CHECKERED POPTARTS!!!!!

He stabbed me with the sword, twisting it cruelly. How can he not know???? Jashins pray to Jashin on the floor with the symbol drawn around us not on a cross!!! Was he really that stupid? He stabbed another sword. Was this all? I mean really, it doesn't really hurt. I'm a Jashin remember?!?! I stab myself on every Wednesday. Was he really that dumb? I was highly disappointed. Is this all to the Itachi Uchiha's power? I knew Madara/Tobi was much stronger. After all, he's fought the 1st hokage.

HESPER'S SUPER AWESOME POV WHICH IS MUCH BETTER THAN HIRI'S…..at least in her opinion.

I kicked Sushi in the gills and stabbed his stomach with a kunai. He jumped back a bit. The most vulnerable spot on any shark is their gills…and where the sun doesn't shine part. I looked over a Hiri…was she done yet? I heard no sound. I guess not.

"Water Bullet!" Kisame shouted.

I smirked. Kisame. Kisame. Kisame. I mentally shook my head in disappointment. So naïve. I can do MUCH better than that.

I did fast hand signs.

"WATER MIRROR!" A clean almost see through water mirror expanded, bouncing back the 5 water bullets to Kisame. I also added my own little twist and had lightning run through them. Because I knows, Water + Lightning= Major Ouchie. How do I know? Well…let's just say never stand on top of a lake, shake your fist at the sky, and yell, "STORMS SUCK!!". Trust me. Don't try it.

Kisame managed to dodge 4 of the 5 bullets, but unfortunately for him (and lucky for me) one hit him square in the face. Major Boo Boo.

I looked towards Hiri. Ahh. She's done. I dispelled my mud wall, loosening the soil underneath us again and flooding the area with mud, which turned into a quick sand thingy.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Hiri was gasping for air while she was rolling on the floor.

Question marks appeared before everyone's head.

Shoot. I forgot. Hiri was really ticklish. Cut her arm off and she'll be rolling on the floor laughing. I bet whatever justu Itachi did have no effect on her.

I dodged Kakuzu's weird tentacles thingy's. Doesn't he get tangled up? Great time to find out right? I grabbed all of Kakuzu's tentacles (yes, even the one's on his face) and tied it up in a HUGE knot. I also cut his leg with a kunai for go measure.

I looked over at Hiri. What was she doing?

HIRI"S POV

I finally gotten over my laughing fit. I drew weapons and threw them towards Itachi, who got only one scrap, hmm.

"Katsu!!" I yelled.

The bombs I placed in the quicksand exploded, blowing up Hidan's leg, Deidara's arm, and half of Sasori's puppets. Yeah, hm! That's what I call art! Hm.

"Kakuzu! Attach my arm back with your tentacles, yeah!" Dei yelled.

"I can't you idiot! I'm tied up!"

"Well, untie yourself, un!"

Kakuzu paused. "I…I…c-can't."

I started to laugh, unaware that Hidan was heading straight for me. Hesper came running over me. She blocked Hidan's scythe with her own as I managed to cut his shoulder with a purple kantana I hastily drew.  
"Hiri, when in battle, you should be alert. The enemy may catch you off guard."

I growled. She was always like this on battles. Do this, don't do that. Just like Kakashi. Serious and not fun.

I jumped in the air and drew a large dragon to ride on. Bombs.

BOOM!!!

"My art's better Dei, hm!" I yelled.

Deidara dodged the bomb, but didn't dodge the kunai I placed in it.

I ran towards the bloodied kunai. Hesper handed me some already used kunais. I had Itachi, Kakuzu, Kisame, Deidara and Hidan's blood now, yep. I didn't Sasori's because he didn't have blood.

I licked all of their blood and drew the jashin symbol on the ground.

"Is that?" Hesper asked.

"Yep."

I grinned this was going to be good.

"CURSE TECHNIQUE: DEATH CONTROLLING POSSESSED BLOOD!"

"Oh Shit!" Hidan cursed.

My grin wided as my grim reaper like appearance appeared, causing my blond hair to become gray.

"Alright, hmm! The real battle has just begun!"

* * *

The next part will come out soon! I'm sorry if there were no funny parts.

Tobi: Tobi didn't do anything!

Everyone: Good.

Tobi: But Tobi wanted to help.

Author: Tobi. Shhh!

Tobi: Sorry Author-chan!

Author: -.-"

Review please!

Hidan: Who would want to rate your ()*#$%)&(#$*%)(%$^#$! (string of cuss words) story?

Author: *in emo corner*


	7. Go Fish anyone?

Okay! It's another chapter! Yays!!! W0000t!!!!

All of the Aktasuki: No!!!!!!!!!!

Tobi: Yay! Tobi found Itachi's stash of cheesecake!

Everyone else: ...

Tobi: get your own

Okay. Right to the point. I'm sorry for any errors and mistakes i make in this story. If you find any, please write it in your reviews. I need to improve my stories because they tend to get off topic. And if you have any suggestions for the story, you could put it in a review. I may or may not accept ideas. (I will not accept ideas on mature "stuff", yaoi, yuri, and Hesper's and Hiri's past. Not only is some of the stuff hard for me to write, but it is also mental scarring. The little Tobi running around in my head dies everything he sees any Mature "stuff".)

Disclamer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto-sama who is my god. So don't sue! I only own Hiri and Hesper and the chicken ramen that I am currently eating right now. (Don't tell my brother, I "borrowed" it from him.) SPOLIER!!!!!!!1

Later on in the seris I may do bonus chapters like Truth or Dare or "A regular day in the Akatsuki". It does not mean that I stopping the story. It just shows what the Dragon Twin Sisters life in the Akatsuki like....

...

...

...

And it also shows that the author may have signs of writer's block.

And now without any more delays...here is The battle!!!!!!

...

...

...

part 2.

* * *

HESPER'S POINT OF VIEW

Hiri smirked as the Akatsuki members were frozen, not daring to move. She smiled.

"Heart…"

"Lungs…"

"Skull…"

"Liver…"

"Spine…"

"I wonder where I should strike…hmm?"

She was really getting better at this justu. She didn't make any mistakes like the last time_**s**_.

FLASHBACK

"AHHHH!!!" Hiri screamed as she stabbed herself in the stomach.

Gui had no clue what was happening.

"Hiri! You BAKA!!!" I shouted. "You forgot to get his blood and do the justu!!"

"Oh….my bad, hm."

I slapped my forehead. "You're supposed to get Gui-sensei's blood. Not just stab yourself in the stomach in the middle of a fight! Can't you do anything right?" I yelled.

"C'mon Hesper-chan…it's a MONDAY!!!"

"Oh, and you just happen to stab yourself on Mondays?"

END OF FLASHBACK!!!

Good times. Good times.

Hidan being the idiot that he is, (Don't tell Hiri I said that!!!! Please!!! I'm too young to die!!!!) just charged start for her. Great strategy, Hidan, really great. Not only could I easily chop off your head, but there's a twig that you could trip over.

Hidan almost reached me with his scythe when he hopped _over _the twig and tripped on his _cloak. _Everyday I am reminded how stupid people are. (Example: Tobi.)

"GODDA-"

I quickly buried him (head first) in mud. I dislike cursing greatly. It clouds the mind and twists the tongue. (AND IT TEACHES TOBI AND ME BAD WORDS!!!!!!)

"Hidan, I advise you to close your mouth, you could get mud in it, and it could suffocate you. Then you'll just be another corpse for me to eat." I whispered silently so Hiri couldn't hear. I LOVE meat. Human meat and fish tastes the best. (DON'T TELL KISAME I SAID THAT!!! PLEASE!! I DON"T WANT TO BE GROUNDED AGAIN!!)

"Ahh!" Deidara screamed.

I looked at Hiri. She had stabbed herself in the leg so no one expect for Sasori could move. You see _unlike her boyfriend _she actually USES HER BRAIN (insert gasp here). She knows where to stab a person where it hurts most (which is the main reason Gui is scares of her).

I watched the battle from afar, analyzing every move and detail. Kakuzu still had trouble untangling himself. He would be out of the fight for a while. Hidan was well…yeah. Jet's just hope no one unearths his cursing figure that was completely buried underground. Itachi and Kisame masked their pain with calm faces. Sasori, like me, was analyzing the battle and deciding the outcome. Deidara was going to grab some clay. I growled. The clay was a big problem. If that clay exploded near us, it would be an instant K.O. I growled. I had to do something about that.

I smiled when a brillant plan came to me. Got it. A prefect plan. I glanced over at Kisame and Itachi. Better play it safe. Better paranoid than dead. I created two water clones to delay Kisame and Itachi. When Hiri was using the justu, it was my job to protect both of us. (In case of stupid people like Hidan.) As i made the clones, I headed straight towards Sasori who by now was out of his puppet. Making it look like i was going to strike Sasori, I grabbed his shoulders and used it as a ledge to backflip over him and ran towards my real target. Deidara, who wasn't even paying attention, threw bombs at Hiri. Luckily, Water Clone #1 made a water sheild about Hiri, protecting her from any bombs or weopans. As I ran towards Deidara, I gripped the handle of my blade, causing the blood to reflect, making my stomach growl in hunger. I swiped the area where Deidara's head was. Right before I could cut his head off, he backflipped, fiving me a perfect chance to swipe his clay pouches. I smirked. Asuma's student may have an IQ over 200 while mine way only over 150, but I used all my pranking skills in fights too. It was common sense though. Deidara's bombs were getting in the way, I needed to stop them. The way to stop the bombs were to elimate the source. Deidara couldn't make anymore bombs if I "borrowed" his clay. He would have to resume to close-range attacks, which judging from my experience in the fight so far, was weaker than mine. He would either have to steal back the clay (which were useless because I applied water to it, making it into mud.) or do Taijustu. Good luck Deidara. Good Luck.

I switched my attentions back to Sasori. He was a HUGE problem. He used his intellgence and the strenght of numbers. I couldn't use a clone because the number of his puppets would crush them, but i couldnt' just fight him seriously because I would be focusing all my attention on Sasori, the other members could easily find an opening to my defenses. I sighed. I'll just have to not fight him and aviod everything he throws at me.

I dispelled my clones, making Kisame trip. I think it was time to attack Itachi and Kisame.

HIRI'S POV

I smirked. I was fighting with Kakuzu. He was hard because he was was accousmed to pain. It didn't really faze him, and the tenactles we untangling themselves. His weird hearts thinginys were stationed around him. What happens if I stab my heart, hmm? Unforunatly, I can't do that. Leader-sama said no stabbing people in the hearts or killing people. WHAT KIND OF STUPID RULE IS THAT, HMM?!?!

I saw Hesper fighting Itachi and Kisame. good. That leaves me time to fight kakuzu. I stabbed myself in the stomach. Deidara and Kisame fliched. I pressed it deeper into my stomach. They started to cough up blood. Kisame used a water-type justu to wash out the symbol on the floor. I growled.

"Hesper. It's time, yep."

She cocked her head to the side as she kicked Itachi's head up. "It's lunch already? Sweet!"

I sighed. "No you baka. THE DAMN JUSTUS!!!!"

"oh...."

I twitched. Calm down. Do not rip off her head. She is not immortal like you. If you rip of her heads or limbs, she like normal people would howl in pain. There would be blood all over your pants. If you do not want blood everywhere do not rip limbs off. Blood stained clothes.

"Alright." She started weaving fast hand signs. I pulled out my paintbrush and used my chakra to sketch out a large green tail. I smirked. The Akatsuki would get the scare of their lives. Hah. This would be great.

"THE GREAT DRAGON DEMON TECHIQUE!" We roared together.

I finished painting the head of the 20 foot tall dragon as Hesper ended in the rat seal for her hands.

"WARRIOR OF THE 1,000 CRIES!" I yelled.

"THE 5 SINS OF LIFE!" She hollered.

"ART IS A BANG!"

"ART IS A BLESSING!"

MY great dragon came to life. Colors quickly swarmed around it as it reared its head back and howled like a wolf to the sky. I smirked. Lets hope it doesn't try to eat Hesper like last time. To my right, she extened her palm and her fingers glows white. Each of her fingers had different dangers of the elements. Fire. Water. Wind. (It was bearly visible to the human eye.) Lightning. And Earth. There were spiralling in a pentagon pattern towards Itachi.

"Oh shoot!"

"What is thing?" Deidara asked.

We smirked. "Its art!" We shouted in unison.

My dragon attacked Kisame and Kakuzu. I stepped back. Sooner or later Kisame would discover that chopping off the head would only multiple the heads. Hence, the name warrior of the **1,000** tears. Kakuzu would discover that some of the limbs and parts exploded. Haha good luck guys. No one has ever bested our ulimate justus. I heard Deidara scream. The lightning dragon was biting his arm. Ouch. That happened to Asuma once. That was the only time that he stayed at the hospital for more than a year. He highly respected her for that.

I sighed. This was really boring. i looked towards Hesper. She was struggling to keep her bored face off.

"Cards, yeah?" I asked.

"Goldfish?" she asked as she sat on the ground.

I smirked. i was sooo going to win.

15 MINUTES LATER

"Got any twos?" She asked.

I gulped. "Uh...no?"

"You liar!" She yelled. "This card is made out of clay!"

"This card is made ouf of a piece of paper, gum, and two paper clips, yep. Is this your excuse for art?!"

She growled. 'That were only things I had in my pocket!"

"That's an sorry excuse for a pocket!" I yelled. i know. Lame.

"Enough." Leader said. "Hesper and Hiri won. The battle is over."

I looked at the Akatsukis. Oh...my...Jashin. There was blood all over the place. Everyone was on the ground moaning/cursing. We both dispelled our dragons...making them vanish in thin air. I looked at Hidan's feet that were up in the air. WHO DARED TO BURY MY HIDAN UNDERGROUND! WHO WAS THE IDIOT WHO DID THAT?!

She sighed. "Darn..I have to heal them don't i?"

I snickered. "Yeah. You are a healer."

"Shut up.'

"Remember than dare with Anko over Kakashi? You never did discover want Kakashi's face looked like."

"How was i supposed to that under is mask was another mask?"

* * *

HESPER'S POV...BEILEVE IT.

"No, hm."

"C'mon Deidara...please?" I asked holding the green liquid in front of him.

"No, hm."

"It's prefectly safe. Jsut because I spiked Hidan's drink eailer making him foam doesnt' mean I did it now."

"No, hm."

I growled. Deidara was my first patient. The medince was supposed to help his immune system to fight the dangerous germs that came with eating the clay. I also had to heal the arms that touched my lightning dragon.

"You leave my no choice." My hand shot out and grabbed his throat. As he gasped for air, I poured the disgusting liquid down his throat also shoving a pill in there too. I quickly released. He wheezed and massaged his throat.

"Don't do that again." I said copying Itachi's voice.

"Yes...mam-er-sir."

I sighed. "Next."

* * *

I was angry at everyone. The Akatsuki were a S-ranked criminals? Bull. Little genins had more backbone than them when it came to medincine. I had to listen to hidan whine in my ear all day. Kakuzu was complaining abotu the price of the medical suppiles before I twisted his arm behind his back. Itachi was being a spoiled brat and refusing to take his medinice. Sushi was questioning my every desicion and movement.

I walked down the super-long-hallway-of-doom carrying Sasori's repaired puppets. With my insides squirming, I felt guilty about what I did to Sasori's puppets. They were fanastic works of arts. Each one was made with care. Each one was a masterpiece. It was a shame that I broke them. They were really something to admire. Sasori-sama was a TRUE artist. Not like Deidara or Hiri. Phswee. They were misguided. Poor people. They didn't understand the full beauty of art. Art is everlasting.

I reached Sasori's door and knocked. There was a grunt. "Come in."

I opened the door. Unlike my room, Sasori painted it sandy yellow, obviously so he could be reminded of home. Puppets were scathered everywhere and even some of the part swere hanging on the ceiling. I gasped in wonder. They were amazing. Each one was carefully constructed with the right amount of wood and each was deadly.

"Yes?" He asked without turning from the puppet he was fixing.

"Um...," I gulped. "I repaired three of your puppets."

He turned around. His dark choclate eyes were wide with surprise and his carefully carved eyebrows were twisted in a condescending fashion.

He turned back to his work. "Thank you."

"No...thank you Sasori..." I said as I closed the door.

"...sensei." I whispered after I shut the door quietly.

* * *

Sasori's POV

"No...thank you Sasori...sensei." She whispered quietly.

I hid my confusion. Teacher? I smirked. Well, I was the best artist in this organzation. Hesper was 2nd of course. I attached chakra strings to Hesper's "repaired" puppets and gasped. They were better off then I thought. The bombs and kunais were replaced and the joints were oiled so they could move freely. I was astounded. They were really well repaired. How did she do it so well? iT was almost as good as me...almost.

* * *

Yays!!!! The end of another chapter.

Akatsuki: ....

C'mon cheer with me.

Atatsuki: ...no.

Preview for next chapter:

Itachi stormed in the kitchen. "Why do I have purple hair?"

Hesper, who was in mid-chew, chocked on the chicken in her ramen. "I-Itachi-i h-ha h-ha. It's so nice to see you today. Ha ha."

Hiri, who was talking to Hidan, cursed. "We totally forgot about that one.

"Who and why?" He said in a low threating voice.

"I NO DID IT!!" Hesper screamed.

"You look like S%&$!" Hidan laughed.

"I suggest you run." Itachi said "...now."

"Well, sorry Hesper." Hiri poofed away.

"No!!! I'm alone again!!!!"

"I'm counting to three. 1.."

"I didnt' do it!!"

"2..."

"I didn't do it!"

"3..."

"KISAME!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!!" Hesper yelled as she bolted out the door leaving her ramen uneated.

Review please.

* * *


	8. Author's note

Okay everyone. I need help here. I'm having a Halloween special-

Kakuzu: who's funding the money for the special?

Me: um...*cough* you *cough* As I was saying I'm having a Halloween special, I would gladly accept any ideas for the special esicapply pranking ideas. You can leave it as a review for the story. The only problem is they have to be done by Halloween, that's the next time I'm updating this story.

Hidan: Halloween is not in my reiligion!!!!!

Me: cry me a river and go drown in it. As I was saying the next part will-

Tobi: That wasn't very nice.

Me: I'm not in a very good mood today. So-as i was saying before two KNUCKLEHEADS interrupted me the next part someone will have p-

Tobi: Why are you not in a good mood today?

Deidara: Because Art class was cancelled.

Me: I WAS CANCELLED DAMMIT!!!! I was so freaking mad! I blame Kakuzu!

Kakuzu: Why me?

Me: Cause everything is your damn fault! Come over here so I can feed you to Zetsu!

Please help me! I need Halloween ideas.


	9. Spiked! Halloween special part 1

* * *

I'm sorry people! I'm updating today instead of Halloween! I can't stand it anymore! I am also breaking it into two parts! I'm sorry that I'm such a bad writer. Thank you for the people supporting me the whoe entire way here! You guys really have wonderful ideas? Why are a bunch of writers reading my stupid story?

Itachi: I know I wouldn't.

Everyone: Amen to that.

Me: Fine! Kisame! You do the disclaimer.

Kisame: What? Why me?

Me: Cause i will feed you to Zetsu if you don't.

Kisame: O.O Oh...um...VicEveSamAlex only owns Hesper (she found out that she doesn't own Hiri because she didn't sign her birth ceritface thingy .), and her crazy ideas.

Me: And a bag of skittles.

Kisame: And a bag of skittles.

* * *

"Hiri-chan?"

I growled.

"Hiri-chan?"

It was too early.

"Hiri-chan?"

1…

"Hiri-chan?"

2…

"Hiri-chan?"

3…

"Hiri-chan?"

My hand instantly shot out and gripped the person's trachea. What the heck, hm!

"Hiri-chan! Your hurting Tobi!"

I tighten my grip. This was too good of an opportunity to miss. I just had to wait for 5 minutes…

"HIRI-CHAN!"

I sighed. Pein-sama would kill me, yep. With great regret, I released his neck.

I sat up and gazed at my walls. Originally the walls of my room were white. I hated the color white. It reminds me of the nutchouse. God I hated that place. The wall ahead of me was a mural of the sunset on the beach that I painted. The other one had a willow tree growing near a cliff gently swaying in the full moon. Another one was a mural of the Jashin symbol.

The one that I prized the most (besides the Jashin symbol) was the one with the two dragons. Ying and Yang. Hiri and Hesper. The furious demons were savagely fighting each out. The one that represented me had blood-red scales on the back and midnight blacks scales on the stomach. The red scales stood for murder and the black scale stood for evil. The one that represented Hesper had water splashing around it. That dragon also had chains attached to wrists and wings. The two dragons were completely different. Mine was murderous, angry, and fierce. Hers was depressed, good-hearted, and lonely. They only similarity was the right front paw. They were both placed on a pearl.

"Hiri-chan?" Tobi poked me.

I finally snapped awake. What in the name of Jashin was Tobi doing in my room at 5:23 am?!?!?

"What do you want, yep?"

"Tobi's hungry."

I twitched. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Whatever you do don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Whatever you do don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Whatever you do don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Don't kill Tobi. Whatever you do don't kill Tobi.

"TOBI!!! I'M GOING KILL YOU!!!!!!!" I shouted as I lunged for his neck again.

"No! Tobi's a good boy!"

15 LONG AND TIRING MINUTES LATER

"Here you go Tobi, sure. 23 waffles!" I said sighing. Ever since I joined, Tobi made me cook all the time. He didn't like Itachi's cooking (Itachi didn't bother using the stove. He used his Grand Fireball Justu). Kakuzu charged for even thinking from the ice in the drink to the napkin in your lap. Sasori would probably poison it. Zetsu..well…yeah, not explanation needed, yep.

"Tobi likes waffles! Yeah he likes waffles! Tobi likes pancakes! Yeah he likes pancakes! Does he like French toast? Y-"

"Hey Tobi?" I asked as I looked down at the cups of coffee that were for the Akatsuki. "Did you add anything, hm?"

"Yes! Tobi added two scoops of sugar just like you asked."

I sighed. So he didn't screw it up. Thank Jashin.

I looked at the clock. It was time to wake up Hesper.

Hesper's Room.

"Hesper wake up."

"No, you stupid retard. I'm not going to wake up to meet Gai or Kakashi. I'm too young to die."

"Hesper, yep."

"No Kisame. I don't want to see your ugly mutt of a face in the morning."

I twitched. First Tobi now Hesper. I gripped her sleeve and slammed her into the ground.

"WAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF JASHIN, HM!!!" I screamed in her ear.

"I don't want to wake up Kisame. 5 more days."

I punched her in the head to show how I felt about that.

"I'm up! I'm up! I'm up! Just don't kill me!"

* * *

The whole Akatsuki were up and drinking coffee that I made.

"Hey Hiri?" Hidan asked. "Why is your hair pink?"

I looked at him in confusion. What pink hair?

"It makes you look gay."

"Like Elmo!" Deidara said.

I twitched. Something wasn't right.

"I love you. You love me. We're a happy family with a great big hug and the give the fox a shoe." Kakuzu and Kisame sang together.

Okay, I know for sure that something was wrong.

"Tobi's mask is stuck to his face!!! Help!! Tobi's mask is attacking Tobi! It's trying to eat his brains!!!!!!"

"Oh my Jashin! Kakuzu! You look like an Antichrist! Die!"

"OMG Sasori! You look so HAWT today, um!" Deidara cooed as he snuggled against Sasori's chest.

By that time, I was on the floor holding my hands to my eyes.

Sasori twitched and pushed him off his chest.

I looked around. The only sane people were Hesper, Itachi, and Sasori.

"Why is everyone crazy?" Hesper asked.

"Because it's Halloween!" Tobi shouted. "That's way Tobi is wearing a green lamp today for his birthday!"

Itachi sniffed the coffee. "Hiri! What kind of sugar is this?"

I looked at Tobi. "I got it from Tobi, yeah."

Tobi looked at us innocently. "I got it from Hesper!"

Hesper sighed. "Oh shoot I got it from Kakuzu."

Kakuzu looked up at the mention of his name. "Oh the powder thingy? I got it from the very funny black man that lives in the purple er black market. He has a blue cat!! Or was it green?"

I paused. Powder…black…market. Oh shoot.

Sasori looked at the coffee. "Spiked."

Hesper looked at it. "What do you mean? Hiri's food always tastes funny."

Itachi sighed. "The drink's spiked."

"Tobi is a bad boy!!!"

"I can see that foolish one." Hesper said calmly. (Mood swing.) "A group of _highly intelligent _S-ranked criminals were foolish enough to drink spiked coffee. For shame to all of you. You all lack talent."

Sasori raised his eyebrow at me.

"Mood swings, yep."

"That time of month?" Itachi whispered.

I chuckled. "No, that happens everyday, yep."

Hesper chucked a book at me. "I heard that you idiot! I have ears everywhere!"

I sighed. Her moodswings were getter more violent each day. A bad sign. She forgot to take her medicitation. Yes, she does take medicitiation.

"Ahhh!!!! I broke a nail!" Deidara screamed like a fangirl.

I twitched. No. My younger brother does NOT scream like a fangirl. I will make sure of that. "Deidara. You are gay, yep."

"What? Please, no I'm, like, not! I'm a girl! Can't you see? Gawd, people, like, can't tell the difference."

"Hiri. Are you sure your brother drank that coffee?" Hesper asked.

I nodded. "Yep."

"The effects will last about 8-10 hours according to how many cups he drank." She said. "The only way to cure the…um….craziness is to wait for it to leave your blood stream and digestive system. You see when the powder goes down the esophagus, it gets absorbed by the-"

"You know all that?" Itachi asked stunned that she was smart.

"Yes. Of course. I'm a medical ninja."

I rolled my eyes. Mood swings, yep. Damn that Orochimaru and his sidekick, Kabuto. (A/N: This will play an important and life-changing roll for Hesper. It will also make sense later on.)

"So depending on what type of powder it is, how long the powder sat in the coffee, amount of water, and the amount that they drank, I can say it will last for a good chunk of the day-"

Deidara glomped Hesper. Oh Jashin.

"OMG!!!! Hesper-chan! You look so hawt today!"

Itachi hid the amused smirk. "If Deidara thinks he's a girl, does hugging Hesper mean he's gay or does hugging Sasori mean he's gay? By the way, what is Deidara gender in the first place?" He looked at me.

I held up my hands in defense. "How should I know, sure? I never really knew myself!"

* * *

Pein crashed open the door as I finished the last strain of cobwebs to the haunted house look (which were real by the way. I found it in Zetsu's dinner). He was chewing on a chocolate bar while he cradled smarties, gummies, choclate, and candy in the other. Even with his special eyes of his, he looked like he had the most far away look in his eyes as if he was reminiscing something. Konan or Blue quietly slid behind him with _that _expression on her face. She looked like…never mind. She was really angry. One important thing that Tsunade and Anko taught me…don't make other women mad….ever.

"Right. I decided that the Akatsuki is going out to trick or treat…." Pein said polishing off the bar and reaching for some more candy. "It's for finical purposes of course…yes…strictly finical purposes. After your done trick or treating, the leader gets umm….let's see….50% of the candy…because…um…he needs to…um…pay the rent."

"Isn't that Kakuzu's job?" Sasori asked.

"Um…well, since he's spiked...no...er drugged...er...drunk. Yeah. Just give me candy DAMNIT!" Pein yelled and stormed off.

"Wait! I don't want to!!!!!" Kakuzu yelled. "I'm too young to die!"

"You're 91 years old." Hesper sighed. "And…you can't die with those moldy hearts of yours."

"Heh…heh…I like pink ponies."

"Um…yeah. This is depressing, hm."

"Tobi's a lamp!"

* * *

Thank you for supporting me or giving me advice! ^.^

* * *


	10. Tricks! Halloween special part 2

* * *

45 minutes later. Hesper's POV

"No,"

"Please?"

"No."

"C'mon Sasori-_sama_. It's prefect."

"No."

I sighed. "I'll help you polish your joints for the rest of the month."

He paused. "No."

"Oh. C'mon! The stupid costume is not that embarrassing!" I glared. What was with men and their dignity? Didn't they know they had none to begin with? "Itachi is dressed in a TUTU for God's-"

"Jashin's, yep!!!!"

"…sake, and Hiri is a freakin' taco!"

Yes. Sitting in the living room, everyone expect for Sasori-danna were dressed in his or her costume. Deidara insisted on wearing what he described as a "rose-blood soft satin long dress with lovely gold trimming at the edges" and a "silky _gorgeous _bejeweled cut off gloves that a _maiden _would wear" that was completed with an "_elegant _gold jeweled mask that brought out his light blue eyes". Those were his exact words. OF COURSE a princess is not complete without a PRINCE CHARMING. Therefore, I MUST be the Prince Charming because I'm the only one suitable for it. The wear is actually quiet comfortable and is completed with a black mask that surrounded the eyes, a feathered hat, a long skinny flexible sword, and a black cape. (A/N: Like Zoro (not One Piece)) I didn't mind being the prince. The only problem was the princess. Dude, if I ever saw a poisoned princess or a damsel in distress, I would leave her right there. Honestly, Deidara never wasted a minute chattering on and on about how beautiful his mask was. I'm seriously beginning to wonder when the drug is going to leave his system.

Hiri was wearing an awesome taco costume that that totally wicked! Complete with the hard shell, meat, lettuce, and tomatos. It was the awesomest thing since the invention of the jelly donut!

Hilarious!!! Itachi was in a tutu. Please refrain from asking. Kisame was dressed up as Itachi, and to make things funnier (SPOLIER ALERT!!!!!!!!) he had on blind man's glasses. Hidan was doing his death controlling possessed blood to look like a skeleton and had black and white markings all over him, which made Hiri flush. I didn't get it though. Why would anyone be blushing? Was she ill? When I pointed this out she grew a larger blush and cursed at me. Did I do something wrong? Prepares she didn't want me to notice a weakness? However, what confused me even more was the fact that Hidan would purposely take off his shirt in front of Hiri and flex his muscles arrogantly. Was the temperature to hot? Were his muscles too sore? Maybe I should ask Kisame, but then again, he'll answer it with "you'll understand when you're older".

Kakuzu was too cheap to buy or make a decent costume, so he "borrowed" a white fabric and cut two small holes in it. The disoriented Tobi dressed himself in a helmet, black cape, black uniform, armor with shiny buttons, and red lightsaber. He kept going up to Itachi and I saying, "I am…your FATHER!!!! Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *cough**cough*cough*wheeze*." It was pretty funny. And Zetsu "dressed up" as that cannibal from the Akatsuki that no one knew. _Extremely _creative. I would never have thought that be.

Anywho, after we managed to cram Sasori (without his other puppet) into a Pinnicolo outfit, we set off. Sasori decided (was forced) to tag along with Deidara and I because he (Kisame and Pein) didn't trust me to not steal candy (DARN!!!) from the little snotty brats. Hiri told me that she was trick or treating with Hidan and Kakuzu. When I asked for the reason, she blushed and yelled at me again. Maybe it was because she wanted to know Kakuzu better? Itachi and Kisame were with each other to go to the shady part of Konoha for a mission (obviously they wanted to buy groceries there!). Zetsu was forced to join Tobi in his "Great Arc for the stolen Candy". Good luck Zetsu. Good luck.

* * *

Sasori's POV

The moon was spilling soft soothing rays on my "skin" as the trees whispered secrets to each other. The ebony sky void of any stars was quite comforting and prefect for Halloween. The leaves of the Sakura trees danced with the wind like petite drops of water in the vast ocean. The reeds held a soft low sound like a flute as the hoots of the owls completed the chorus. Such beauty! It was a pity that it could never be art. Art was everlasting, something like this could never be eternally preserved.

I small sigh came from the left of me. I gazed up at Hesper (remember she's taller than him) as she tucked a blue strain of hair behind her ear as she gazed at the moon with soft eyes. It was the first time I had ever seen the quiet side of that brat. Needlessly to say, I hope she would remain like that forever.

"Sasori-senpai, hm! How much candy do you think we've going to get? I hope we get a lot of chocolate, yeah. I heard it was good for the skin. I don't want _too _much candy though. Putting on weight would be a disaster. It would go straight to my thighs! It would be horrible. How would I lose all those calories?" Deidara gasped.

It seamed like when one brat was quiet the other brat just _had _to open his mouth. Good lord, was he ever going to stop?

"Ha-ha. Sasuke got best costume award!" A blue-eyed boy who had whiskers on his face said. He adjusted the scroll on his back and his white wig. "I didn't think you would win it with _that _costume on."

Sasuke sighed and adjusted the purple bow around his waist. "Shut up Dobe." He scratched his powdered face. "At least my costume is better than yours.

"Hey!"

"Oh, my Sasuke-kun looks soo cute with that crown and bouquet of roses in his hand." Whispered a pink haired girl with a blond wig. "What do you think Ai?"

Ai sighed. She was being an Anbu for Halloween. "Chicken-butt looks gay with that butt-bow on."

The Jiriya cosplayer laughed. "That's right Ai! Dattaboyo!"

Sakura twitched and pressed her fingers adjust the drawn on diamond on her head. "Naruto…."

"What?" Asked Naruto with the red marks and wart on his face.

"Nothing." Said the Tsunade imposter.

I sighed. This was going to be long.

* * *

HIRI"S POV

"Good night, good night! Parting is such a sweet sorrow. That I shall say good night till it be morrow." Hidan shouted to Itachi's and Kisame's retreating figures.

"WTF. Hidan! Where did you learn that, yeah?"

"From my idol of course." said the drugged Jashinist. "William Shakespeare!"

"William Shalespeare?"

"Therein, ye gods, you make the weak most strong; therein, ye gods, you tyrant do defeat. Nor stony tower, nor walls of beaten brass, nor airless dungeon, nor strong links of iron, can be retentive to the strength of spirit; but life, being weary of these worldly bars, never lacks power to dismiss itself. If I know this, know all the world besides, that park of tyranny that I do bear I can shake off at pleasure." Hidan dramatically sighed and put both hands over his heart.

"What the heck? Hidan! I knew you were drugged, but still! William Shakespeare? No one can go that low."

"I can! I can! Wanna see!" Kakuzu cheerfully said.

"Shut up, Kakuzu."

"But…Kakuzu is a good boy."

"%^&* NO, yep!"

"But,"

"No, yep."

"Ah, see that over the yonder my fair maiden?" Hidan proclaimed. "There is thy door of many secrets lay. Hark, hark, let's knock! A see if the forsaken enemy draws up thy rapier."

I sighed. "Hidan, you're an idiot."

"Ah, the pain that burns within my fiery soul. Fair lady stabs the heart of men. With cruel words and a vain tongue, she strikes thy men down. Alas! I cannot continue on! Go forth I say. Go forth!"

"Shut up Hidan, yep." I smacked him on the head as I felt my face heat up. "Stop being a drama queen."

"Ah. The raven crows within the night! Filled with-"

DING-DONG. I sighed and adjusted the strap of my taco.

"Oh hello! What do we have here? A ghost, a taco and er…a panda?"

"I'm a skeleton!"

I rolled my eyes and took a bag os skittles. When will this nightmare be over? I thanked the lady politely as I walked pass a group of Konoha ninjas.

"Man, walking around like this is such a drag." Said a deer.

"Grr, that billboard-brow is trick or treating with MY sasuke-kun. I'm going to kill her with my pitchfork!" A devil said.

A chubby boy wearing a Santa Claus suit swallowed a king-sized chocolate bar…whole. "Hey Ino, if you don't want your candy, I'll eat it for you."

"You fa-I-er-mean Choji. You need to converse your candy."

I growled at Choji. I. HATE. SANTA. CLAUS. He didn't give me the clay bombs that I wanted, and he didn't' give Deidara world domination. I will kill that Santa Claus.

"Hey kid." I smiled and glided towards them. "Want some candy?"

"Sure!"

"Choji! It could be poisoned!" The deer whined.

"Nah, she's nice. I can tell. Thanks grandma!"

Grandma? Oh that little %^r was going to die.

I smiled and closed my bags of clay. "Bye!" I waved and slowly walked away waiting for a prefect time to blow him up.

* * *

BANG! Itachi growled and rubbed his forehead. It was the 5th time today. Because of the darkness, he couldn't see a head or tail of anything resulting in many walls and poles running into him. He adjusted his tutu and tuned the delirious fish skipping next to him out. The sooner this nightmare was over, the better.

"Jiriya, you idiot. Naruto doesn't have 9 whiskers. He has 6!" Tsunade said as sahe blew a strand of pink hair out of her green eyes contacts.

"Well that knuckle-head is hard to cosplay." A man in a orange jumpsuit said. "Er…believe it."

"Hn, you guys are all losers." A skinny black haired person said. "Only I was smart enough to cosplay a person that is worth cosplaying."

"You want to have a duck-butt for hair?"

"It's not a duck-butt! Honestly! I think it's cool. Right Kabuto-er-Kakashi-sensei?"

"Er…" said the guy with the mask and orange book. "Yes sir!"

Itachi and Kisame sighed and walked pass them.

"Hey you!" The girl pointed towards me. "What's your costume?"

He grumbled and turned around with Kisame. Let his costume speak for myself.

"Oh my god! You're trying to be Itachi in a tutu, right?" Orochimaru asked. "You did a pretty good job with the head band and the wrinkles, but your nail polish is a bit off. It's supposed to be aqua, not black."

Itachi raised a delicate eyebrow. "Thank you for the advice?"

"I know everything about Itachi. You see, one day I started walking towards him…"

Slowly and quickly gliding away, Itachi moved onto the next house. That sannin was creepy. He was the only person who ever drank orange juice and brushed his teeth in the same time. He shuddered. Oh yes, Orochimaru was an evil person from the tip of his long tongue to the end of his toes.

* * *

Leader-sama drummed his fingers on his desk. It was an outrage. A downright outrage. His hands groped for another bar of candy in his secret drawer, but it was void of anything expect for wrappers. He growled. Why wasn't the Akatsuki leader not allowed to trick or treat? It was madness. He looked for cookies in his jar. Nothing. Leader-sama drummed his fingers quicker. Not only was he deprived of candy, but Konan had put on her motherly senses and taken away his _cookies_. An outrage. That was what it was. He needed candy. Didn't that woman understand? Candy was the food only for God. He breathed sweets. He crunched up a tootsie wrapper. So what if they had "too many calories and fats". Who cares if they had "dye and checimals"? Konan didn't understand the beauty of candy. If they didn't bring any candy soon, they would be dead.

* * *

Hesper's POV

I sighed and dragged the truckful of candy I had. Deidara had been whining about his heels for more than two hours. I think I was going to kill someone…and it wasn't going to be Sasori-sama.

"Sasori-sama? Do you have any duck tape?"

He gave me an unsure look. "Why?"

"Just trust me."

He blinked and gave me some ducktape that he had.

* * *

CENSORED…PLEASE STAND BY 3

"Here you go!" I said with a happy expression plastered onto my face.

Sasori-sama was bugged eyed as he calmly took his tape back. "You are so dead when Hiri finds out."

"_When _she finds out is not going to be in a loooong time." I smirked as I shouldered the precious bag of candy.

"Mmmmmmppphh!!!" Deidara said in a muffled voice.

"Did you hear that Sasori-sama?"

He shook his head. "Must be the wind."

"Mmmmmppphhhh."

I sighed as I pushed Deidara forward who had both hands pinned down. "Hurry up. Leader-sama is getting annoyed for the delay. And after all, Sasori-sama is _never _late."

"Hn."

I growled. Do all men "hn"?

* * *

After we took off the costumes with much regret (expect for Sasori-sama), Pein called us forward. When we pooled over the candy, Tobi was practically spazzing out. Watching all that candy go to leader-sama, was torture. I would rather be stuck in Itachi's genjustu than watch Leader-sama eat all that candy. He sorted the candy from dislike to like. When Itachi showed me the calucations, I nearly blew up. Leader-sama wasn't taking 50% of our candy. He was taking 75% of it. Just because he was the leader, doesn't mean he got all the candy. Tobi's arms were fidgeting as he watched another Babe Ruth go past him. Hiri's eye twitched as she saw Sour Patch kids disappear into the stash. Itachi did a full body twitch when two strawberry laffy taffies were captured. I nearly cried when Leader-sama took my marshmallows, but instead I bit my cloak.

"Alright. I think that's about it." Leader-sama said.

"Leader-sama." Konan said immediately going into her motherly tone. "That's too much candy."

"It's for a good cause."

I rolled my eyes. Good cause? Yeah right.

"Er…yeah, everybody's dismissed. AND NOBODY BETTER TOUCH MY CANDY!"

I saw a cruel smile twist Hiri's lips. Oh god. What in the world was that girl planning.

"Hesper! Hesper!" whispered a feminine voice. "Wake up baka."

I sat up. "What do you want, Hiri?"

"Candy, yep." She put her finger to her lips. "We're _borrowing _candy from leader."

"We?"

"Me, you, and Tobi, yep."

I frowned. "Isn't Tobi, you, and I?"

She growled. "Oh shut up, yep."

"Hiri-chan? Cursing is not good." Tobi whispered.

I wided my eyes. Tobi, the good boy, was stealing candy. Wow. He must be really desperate. I nodded and quietly slipped out of bed and buttoned my cloak on. Creeping down the hallways, we reached a lighted room that Leader-sama was probably staying in. Hiri signaled both of us to stick to the walls so he wouldn't see us. My eyes narrowed. That was my Hershey bar he was eating. Mine! Mine!

"NOW!" Hiri yelled. She snatched the black bag of goodies and blazed down the corriders. I took another bag and followed her while Tobi seized his own bag.

"GET BACK HERE!"

I gulped and sped up. No one in the organization wanted to face the wrath of leader. No one. Not ever Itachi or Hidan.

Unfortunately, everyone just had to wake up as this time. We quickly passed Kakuzu who was now cured of the drug. He rubbed his eyes as he saw Leader-sama streak pass him. Kakuzu muttered something about aging eyesight.

"I'm going to kill you!"

I gulped. "Run faster, Tobi! He's gaining."

Hiri turned around and threw some clay bombs that looked like candy. "Distraction, hm!"

Tobi wildly swung around. "There's a bathroom!"

I wrenched the door open, shoved Tobi inside, and bolted the door shut. There were angry screams and bangs in outside. I gasped for air as I felt a twist in my stomach. Something wasn't right.

"LET ME IN, HM!"

Opps. We forgot Hiri. I cleared my throat. "What's the password?"

She sighed. "A ninja waits until the dead of the night. When his enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lay forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike."

I slapped my forehead. "That was last week's past word."

"The cake is a lie, yep?"

I slapped my head again. "No that's Tobi's password."

"38, hm?"

"No."

"Oh! I know! I know um…umm….damn." She said.

I jerked open the door. "Finally you remembered it!"

She scuttled inside as Tobi and I struggled to push the door close on the limbs and heads of the rest of the Akatsuki. We took one look at each other. The look would not hold for long.

"To the shower, yep."

We rushed into the shower stall and closed the curtains. Sitting in between Tobi and Hiri, I felt quite safe. If Leader-sama do barge in, I could sacrifice them first. After 10 minutes, the Akatsuki tried turning off the lights to provoke up to dash outside like rats near rat poisoning. However, we liked the darkness and used the moon as our source of light. There was a quite comfortable period of pounding, snarls, and cursing that we ignored as devoured the candy like savages.

"Mashmellow?" I said as I shook the bag in front of my fellow wrongdoers.

"Don't mind if I do, yep."

"Yays! Hesper-chan is a good girl!"

* * *

Thank you for reading! ^.^

* * *


	11. Itachi's new hair

Sorry! It's been such a long time since I've updated. Thank you for the people that have been surporting me all this time. If you have any suggestions to make, you can go ahead and make suggestions just tell me how i can be better.

Tobi: VicEveSamAlex doesn't own Naruto...or Hiri...she owns Hesper and purple hair dye. VicEveSamAlex is my best friend! She's my best of all my best friends-

Me: Tobi...stop singing.

Tobi: *clears throat* Right. Masashi Kishimoto-sama owns Naruto. So don't sue and I don't kill you!

* * *

"AHHHHH!!!!!!! Kisame-onichan!!!!! Help me!!!!!" Hesper screamed.

"Tobi is sorry! Tobi is sorry! Tobi doesn't like Itachi-san's sharigan." Tobi was crying though his eyehole.

"Faster Tobi, hm! You want to become Weasel food, yep?" (AN: Itachi means Weasel in Japanese.)

The evil-doers were sprinted down the hallways from Itachi. They had quickly forgotton the purple hair dye they mixed in Itachi's _Lemon-surprise conditioner for thin hair_. Unfortunately, Itachi had used his conditioner…and he wasn't so happy.

"Help!!! Kisame!" Hesper cried as she burst into the kitchen.

Konan and Kakuzu were reading the newspaper and ignoring the trio. Deidara started cracking up at Hiri's tangled hair. Kisame stared at them with _that mother look _and slowly drank his coffee, drinking in the image in front of him. All the Akatsuki in the room were still decked out in their pajamas as were the trio. The shark had several conclusions in his head to why his sister was wearing her pj's backwards and her ninja headband upside down, but the swordsman didn't even want to know what the running footsteps coming down the hallways were nor the reason why his partner wasn't here drinking coffee. He was smart enough to handle is sister.

"Explain."

"I-itachi…h-hair...sorry…eyes…mleh." Hesper croaked out for breath.

"Shadow clones…so…many….fast…very…yeah…" Hiri gasped.

"Tobi…no…like…lemon….surprise…conditioner…promise…good,"

Kisame sipped his coffee. "I see. And why do you want me to help?"

"ITACHI'S GOING TO KILL US!!!!!" They all yelled with anime tears.

"But…aren't you stronger than Itachi?"

"Well….I'm not strong on Mondays…" Hesper said as she scratched the back of her head.

Kakuzu flipped to the economy section of the newspaper. "It's a Friday, brat."

"Really? What was yesterday?"

Kisame sighed. "A THURSDAY comes before a Friday and a SATURDAY comes AFTER a Friday."

"Ahh…."

The door slammed open and reveled Itachi with an I-going-to-count-to-three-and-kill-you-slowly look on his face.

"ITACHI'S HERE!!!" Tobi and Hiri shouted in unison.

"AHHH!!!! Weasel-kun is going to skin me alive and use me for a carpet!"

Tobi was even more freaked out. He could already see Itachi knitting a sweater in a rocking chair in a lodge with Tobi spread-eagle on the floor like a carpet made out of bear skin. What's more is that Tobi's mask was a stool!!!! "GOMENNASI!!!" (AN: Translation: I'm sorry.)

We left the kitchen in a cloud of smoke as fast as our legs would carry us. "WE'RE SO SORRY ITACHI, REALLY!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Miles of walls, walls of stones greeted us as we ran past them. Like a horror movie, the hallway stretched on and on. Faster! Faster! We had to go faster! I'm too young to die!

I looked at Hiri for a solution. She's much smarter than I…maybe she has an idea to save my skin?

"Hiri?"

"Yep?"

"WHAT DO WE DO?!?!!??!?!" I twisted side-ways and held my hands in a begging form and begin to anime cry. "WE'RE IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE."

"No shit, Sherlock, hm!"

"HELP ME!!!"

"You, yep? Who said anything about you? You're alone, girl!" Ja Ne!" (A/N: Ja Ne means See Ya!) She poofed away in a cloud of smoke. Teleportation justu?

…

…

…

…

…

…

NO!!!!!!!!

"You big meanie! Tobi? Have any ideas?" I glanced to my right? "Tobi? Tobi?"

Darn. People just kept abandoning me don't they?

I glanced behind me again! Itachi was still chasing me!!!! No!!! Faster! Faster! Faster!

I came to three paths in the road. Which one? Right? Left? Center? How do I pick?

I looked down all of them. A bright-lighted hallway led to the kitchen again. One dark hallway led to Leader-sama's office. Another dimmed hallway led to Hidan's religion room that he uses for sacrifices. So did I want to be murdered by a sadist in a kitchen, in front of my leader, or as a sacrifice of that Jashin? I sweatdropped at myself. I didn't want to answer that question…

I chose the kitchen…at least I can die near the food. As I was running forward, I saw a squat figure exiting the kitchen.

"SASORI-DANNA?!?!?!" I screamed as I waved my hands in the air.

* * *

THE EXACT WORDS HAT SASORI THOUGHT RIGHT WHEN SHE SAID HIS NAME.

Oh shit. O.O

* * *

BACK TO THE STORY

Thank god for such a good timing! I ran over to Sasori-danna who for some reason or other looked a little surprised to see me. I whispered my thanks to him and since he was in his puppet form, I opened the hatch where he operated the puppet from. I jumped inside and closed the hatch.

* * *

SASORI'S POV

Hesper gleefully charged into my puppet like some monkey. I was mildly startled to see that she even knew where the hatch was and how to properly open it. My respect for the novice increased…until she tripped on the side and fell on me.

I was originally sitting in an Indian-style position with my hands operating the puppet. However, since she climbed in, she ruined the flow of chakra stings. Not only did she do that, but she dropped into my lap in such an absurd way that I could feel my heart container jump. In fact, I think the monkey was too dumb to notice that she had her legs rapped around my thin waist and her arms wrapped around my chest. We were so close to each other that we could hear each other's heart beat.

"That was t-too close." She huffed.

"What are-"

She looked down at me. "Well, Itachi…then yeah."

I sighed. The Akatsuki is becoming more like a circus with her here.

Itachi sprinted into the hallway. His grape-juice purple hair was tied in a messy ponytail as if it has been done in a rush. His eyes had the deactivated the sharigun. His Akatsuki cloack was buttoned halfway so he could stick his hand out. I twitched the pruple hair…Hesper you are such a simpleton.

"Where did she go?" He glared at me.

I was about to open the hatch when Hesper suddenly smacked me. I glared ruefully at her. She glared at me and tilted her head at my fingers. She wanted me to help her? After all I suffered?

I sighed and begun operating the puppet. The puppet pointed in the opposite direction that I was in.

He nodded and ran the other way. That girl better be thankful for the work I've done for her. She better get out before I get impatient.

* * *

MEANWHILE IN HIDAN'S ROOM. HIRI'S POV

"What the hell are you doing here?" He yelled at me.

"Fah. You aren't happy to see your girlfriend, hm?" I said as I closed the door.

"F*** no. But you're f***ing interrupting my important ritual d***it." He yelled at me.

I rolled my eyes and sat next to him in the middle of the Jashin symbol.

"What the hell do you want?"

I rolled my eyes. "Isn't it obvious? I'm here to f***ing join you, hm."

"Ah,"

"Ah, hm?"

He glared at me.

I glared at him.

"SHUT THE F*** UP!" We both shouted at the same time. "YOU'RE BOTHERING ME!!"

We glared at each other. What a b*****d.

"STOP COPYING ME!" We both shouted.

* * *

HESPER'S POV

I sighed. "Thanks Sasori-danna."

"Hn."

He allowed me to scramble out of the stuffy puppet. "Ja Ne!" I said.

His face was monotone.

I shakely climbed out at the wrong time.

"Hesper? What are you doing in Sasori-danna's puppet, yeah?"

DEIDARA? Oh no.

"Well you see-"

After 15 minutes of explaining, a few bombs, and water strangles, he finally calmed down and knew the whole story.

Deidara sighed. "Leader-sama wants Sasori, you, and I to come to his office. Apparently, Hesper is on our team now Sasori.

* * *

SASORI'S THOUGHTS.

WHAT?

* * *

DEIDARA'S THOUGHTS ON THAT.

^.^

* * *

Hesper's thoughts.

What about Hiri?

* * *

BACK TO HIDAN'S ROOM. NORMAL POV

Kakuzu opened the door to see Hidan pressing himself to the wall and Hiri waving a stake over his head in a threatening manner.

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Hell yes!"

"No, it's okay Kakuzu, yeah."

They glared at each other.

She stabbed Hidan in the chest. As he howled in pain, she replied. "No…just having a…discussion."

_She stabbed her boyfriend in the heart just by a simple discussion? _"Leader-sama wants you to. Apparently, Hiri is joining our team."

"Yays, I get to be with Hidan!"

Hidan blushed. "Why would I be happy with that?" Kakuzu looked at him. "Stop looking at me old man!"

Kakuzu sighed and walked out of the room. Now one more brat was joining the team. Great.

* * *

Sorry if that was bad. The next will come soon! ^.^

Baka: Idiot

sama: Someone you highly respect.

Danna: master.

Ja Ne: See Ya.

Teme: Bastard

Seigu!: So cool!

Hime: princess

kun: male friend and also can be used for girls if they are really close. Though men techinally call girls chan.

Chan: female friend

San: Polite term for one that is equal to you.

Sensei: Teacher

sempai: Someone that is of the same level though you highly respect.

Oyabin: Boss

Kami: God.

Itachi: Weasel.

Sasuke: Ninja Warrior.

Neji: Screw.

Naruto: The fishbowl in ramen.

Hinata: Sunny place

Sakura: Cherry blossom.

Ino: Pig.

Shikamaru: Deer.

Kakashi: Scarecow.

Kisame Demon shark.

If I miss any one's just tell me.


	12. Sensei!

Sasori: VicEveSamAlex does not own Naruto. She owned Hiri and Ai who were made after Lunar Runaway Hiri and Sasuke Uchiha 7.

I am proud to present....the next chapter...sensei.

* * *

Yays! A mission! A mission! Deidara said we were going on a mission! What mission will it be? Will it be A-ranked? S-ranked? An assassin mission? Stealth? Bounty mission? Or…maybe…just maybe….a JINJURIKI mission? OH MY GOD! Will I be strong enough? Will I be fast enough? How many weapons should I bring? Will I die? Will it be hard? Will I be smart enough? (DON'T YOU DARE ANSWER THAT QUESTION!) Yays! Mission! I hope it isn't a bad one like grocery shopping….

* * *

"Your mission is to go grocery shopping." Leader-sama said in a monotone voice.

…

…

…

…

…

…

"WHAT?!?!??!?!?!" I screamed. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"No, hm! You can't kill the leader!" Deidara said as he restrained her from doing something stupid.

"I'll just kill him a little!" I roared as my legs and arms failed from one side to the next.

"No! Hesper-chan, hm!"

Leader and Sasori sighed at the same time. Leader cleared his throat. "Right. Sasori, go to the usual place. Here's the list and the money. I expect no trouble from you two…er…three."

"ARGHHH!!!"

* * *

CENSURED…PLEASE STAND BY ^.^

* * *

"Ow…hm."

"Sorry, Deidara." I rubbed the back of my head as I sweatdropped. "I lost control of myself."

Sasori looked calm and collected but he still attached the chakra strings to the puppet…just to be careful…

I cocked my head to the left. "Oh right! What's the mission that Hiri has?"

Leader organized a couple papers that were dropped in the er… "friendly discussion". "She went on an assassin mission with Hidan and Kakuzu."

* * *

IN THE TEA LEAVES VILLAGE

The bright blue sky was void of any clouds. Rays from the sun blazed down upon the humble village. Birds were soaring away in large flocks chatting noisily. Lush mountains and hills held many plantations and vegetables. Fertile leaves were rustling as the wind danced by it.

"Art is a bang, yep!" Hiri shouted in excitement as her dragon soared higher in the sky.

Hidan ducked under a tree to avoid the dangerous explosion. "Are you f***ing trying to kill me?"

"Sorry Hidan! But oh Jashin this is soo fun, yep!!" She blew up another building.

Kakuzu sighed and had his I'm-too-old-for-this look. "We don't need to destroy the whole village. Just kill the man, collect the bounty, and report back."

There was another explosion that shook the earth as Hiri pouted. "But, that's not fun, hm."

* * *

SASORI'S POV

I wonder what kind of star I was born under. Not only did was I babysitting two 19-year-old teenagers, but I think they were in _love_. (A/N: This is still a SasorixHesper) They were jabbering like pigeons. Deidara was next to Hesper talking about his art while Hesper was laughing and blushing next to him. Then, however, it all changed. Like a monkey, Hesper was jumping up and down and swung her hands wildly in the air as she was describing on of her earlier missions. Deidara was paying attention (prepares too close) to Hesper and laughing. They seemed like good friends (prepares too good) as they walked to the market. I sighed. Those brats better not get in the way. They were walking slow enough as it is.

"Sasori-sama!" Hesper crowed loudly in my ear.

Inside my puppet, I twitched and rubbed my right ear.

"Give me a piggy-back ride!"

I glared at her. "Hn."

"C'mon Sasori-sama….ple~ase?" She begged as she put on _the pout_ that most children had.

I silently turned away. _Act like she's not there Sasori. _

"I'll give you a piggy-back ride Hesper, hm."

"Yays!" Hesper shouted.

I twitched.

* * *

HESPER'S POV

Man. Sasori-sama really seemed grumpy today. I dunno why though. I tried really hard to be polite. I even said please to him! But he just seemed more annoyed. Maybe his puppets didn't turn out well? I dunno. It's too hard thinking on a Tuesday. (A/N: It's a Friday.) Therefore (OMG! Big word), I talked to Deidara. He's really nice and he talks much more than Sasori-sama, but I feel so bad for him. He's so lost when it comes to art. He thinks art should be a blast. He kept ranting on about how he's so powerful not even the sharigun can do anything on him. Yeah right. A poor soul lost on the path of life. LOL. I got that from Scarecrow-senpai.

* * *

HIRI'S POV

"You Numbskull, yep!"

"You f***ing bitch!"

"You ba****, hm!"

"You f***ing pagan!"

I growled and leaped toward him. "I'll f***ing kill you, hm!"

"I'm immortal! You can't kill me!" said the sliver-haired egoistic Jashinist as Hidan struggled to rip Hiri off of him. (A/N: Yes, that sounded weird, considering that they are in love with each other.)

"No, but I can blow you up, hm!"

Kakuzu sighed as he sat down next to the dead victim wishing that he himself were dead. "You two fight like a married couple."

I was just about to blow Hidan up into a million tiny pieces when Kakuzu said that. _A married couple? _Suddenly, a mental picture of me in a wedding dress and Hidan in a tux came to mind. My face started to heat up as I released Hidan.

"No! You old man! We are not getting married you perv!" Hidan yelled.

I smiled. "Hidan-baby (A/N: I can not believe I just typed that….) remember Kakuzu is a confused old man. We should treat him with respect."

They air went dead quiet. Even the gods were lending forward. The birds who were chirping up a storm were deathly quiet. Crickets stopped their sonnets as they listened in on the conversation. Hidan's eyebrows flew off his head. Kakuzu's head shot up to look at me.

Hidan and I started to crack up. Respect Kakuzu? Yeah right. .

* * *

HESPER POV

Yays a piggy back ride! Sasori-danna didn't trust Deidara with me so he insisted that he "took Hesper under his wing" (I don't get it….he doesn't have any wings…does he?) because he didn't trust Deidara with me. Deidara argued that I was being influnced by Sasori-danna art. They began discussing what to do with me. It was really boring, so I decided to go off on my own. I'm sure no one would mind! Right?

As I walked down the dirt streets, I was admiring the architect of the town. What amazing design! The way that all the streets were focusing on the center of the plaza with the big stores was amazing. Dogs were trying to nip at the strangers heels. Hawkers were shouting out prices trying to get me to buy a Ninja-resistant spray ("Knocks out any ninja of any rank cold for 24 hours!"). Children were running from vender to vender gazing at the mouth-watering food. Citizens of the town were having a good time and laughing. I sighed. This place really reminded me of Konoha.

A younger ninja of Konoha was streaking through the crowd. Her messy bun was tied together with chopsticks. A ponytail whipped around in the wind. Two green lines that were drawn on her face were like the picture of Rin Kakashi showed me. She supported a green Konoha vest hid the fishnet. Underneath it was a black cotton shirt that had one long sleeve and one short sheet. White bandages covered her left arms. Finger-less black long gloves had metal guards that only further showed that she was at least a chunin shonbi. She had a bright neon green sash tied around her waist that covered part of the tea green pants that she wore. Black ninja sandals were kicking up the dirt. As she passed by, her determined brown eyes fixed onto my blue ones. Her eyes widened as she glimpsed at the Akatsuki cloak. As her blond head slowly turned towards me a flick of recoginzation sparked my memories. My blue eyes widened as they girls widened as well. She brought a gloved hand and pointed it at me. Her lips moved slowly and tried to form words. As I regained my cool, she found her breathe. Her mouth formed the words _Sensei? _I smiled and stuck my tongue out. Something dangerous flickered acroos her eyes. Her gaping mouth turned into hard angry line. Her eyesbrows furrowed in frustation. Then as she turned midair and tried to grab my cloak, I slipped into darkness.

* * *

BACK TO DEIDARA AND SASORI…..

"Sasori-danna, I think it would be wise if I took Hesper-chan under my care and spilt up. We would cover more ground like that, hm." Deidara shot.

Sasori sighed. "I don't trust you with that brat. You aren't capable of handling her. You have enough trouble as it is handling Tobi."

"But, that's different! Tobi is…is…Tobi, hm! I can handle Hesper-chan."

Sasori remained unmoved. "Kisame asked me to keep a close eye on the girl. She seemed to wander around a lot. Besides, you would probably drag her into a bar."

Deidara felt like stamping his foot in frustration. "Sasori-danna, let me explain. I will, to the best of my abilities take care of Hesper-chan. She trusts me more than you, yeah. Right, Hesper? Hesper?"

Deidara spun around. There was no one behind him. Oh shoot, hm.

Sasori sighed. "Apparently, we both aren't able to get that girl to sit."

* * *

AI'S POV

Hesper-sensei poofed away leaving my hand to close around air. My mouth gasped in horror. Rotating on one foot, I sprinted the other way. Using my driving anger as fuel, I raced faster and faster. Kakashi-sensei had to know. Kakashi-sensei just got to know. I couldn't dare to take her on a S-ranked criminal like sensei. What could a 12-years-old chunin who recently aced the chunin exams do?

I finally reached Kakashi. He was running through the trees with Naruto-kun.

"Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei!" I shouted on top of my lungs.

He halted on his tracks. Naruto tried to turn around in midair…resulting in a very hard meeting with his head and a branch.

"What? Did you find them?"

I looked to the ground. I didn't even think of Hiri-san. "I found Hesper-sensei."

Kakashi nodded. "I'll alert Sakura and Sasuke to come back."

Naruto frowned and folded her arms. "Man I don't understand. What is the big deal with this Hesper and Hiri?"

I looked at Naruto with sad eyes. "Naruto! Hesper is my _sensei_. And it's my duties as the last student on team 13 to bring her back to Konoha!"

He nodded too quickly. "Right. Right. I got it. So, what happened to the others on your team again?"

I looked painfully to the ground. "Don't you remember? Hiri sent them on a mission. They-"

"Well, what happened Ai?" Sasuke asked appeared behind me.

I nodded, not daring to look at the taller ninja. "She was walking somewhere and she was wearing a cloak with red clouds."

Kakashi frowned. "Red clouds? So far, there aren't any organizations with red clouds…"

Naruto sighed. "Man! Right after the chunin exams we have to go on this lame mission."

"Naruto! Be respectful." (A/N: This was right after the chunin exams and before Naruto went to find the 5thhokage.)" Sakura shouted at him with angry eyes.

"Hesper-sensei also has a slash through her headband!" I nearly shouted.

Kakashi sighed. "Great. Just great."

* * *

HESPER'S POV

I smirked as I glided towards the supermarket. Hah. Ai's grown a lot. As I reached for the handle of the door, a cold voice came behind me.

"Stop Hesper."


	13. Ai and I Pronouns and love?

HIRI'S POV

"No, yep. If you cut someone in half, they can still be alive." I nodded with my sound reasoning.

Hidan laughed. "You're so dumb!"

"No! I'm right ,hm!"

"What? H**l no! They only can if they're immortal. If you cut someone in half, they die!" Hidan shouted at her, as his voice grew hoarser.

"No true, hm. Hesper's cut up people plenty of times with her sword…and they lived." I argued, still remaining unmoved for the past three hours.

"Phsw. Can you really trust your friend?" Hidan said.

I twitched. "Are you implying that you don't trust me? Is that it? You think I'm wrong? Is that what all this is about, hm?!"

Hidan screwed up his face in confusion. "What?! Yes! Wait! N-"

"Oh so that's what it is, hm." I started to get really angry. "You think just because you're the man in this relationship you are better than me? Do you understand my feelings?" (A/N: LOL asking Hidan something about feelings…smart move…smart move…)

"Wah? Um…yes?"

"You fu-"

"Will you shut up!" Kakuzu shouted. "I'm going deaf!"

"SHUT UP OLD MAN!" We both shouted.

Kakuzu looked _little _pissed. I think…hm.

HESPER'S POV

I craned my neck around to see who was paralyzing me. A stout figure in the shadows was using chakra strings.

"Sasori-danna, how's it going?" I smiled.

He stepped out of the shadows looking just a _tiny _bit angry…I wonder why.

"Why did you run off?"

I cocked my head to the side. "It was boring just hanging around while you two argued."

"Don't ever do that again." He said in a monotone voice.

"Hm? Why?"

"Because Kisame would personally kill me if you died."

"Ohhh…"

"Was your hair blonde when you were a kid?" Sasori-sama asked.

I was a tiny bit confused. My hair was a shade of aqua blue…what did blonde have to do with anything? "I have to think about that."

HIRI'S POV

It was a few minutes later when I noticed something were wrong. I don't know what made me think of that, hm. Maybe it was the stillness of the air. Maybe it was the deadly quietness of the birds and animals. Maybe it was the fact that I felt something looking at me. My eyes kept shifting left and right. The right hand was nervously twirling a black polished paint brush while the left hand was molding a clay dragon. My chakra was unsettled and moving strangely. Something was up…and I didn't like it.

"Hey Kakuzu, hm?" I asked.

"What do you want brat?" He switched the position of the dead assassin.

"Are we heading in the right direction, yep?" I asked.

He looked at me with that bloody disgusting red and green eyes and turned away without a word. Hm. That rude jerk. No wonder he was so old. Jashin and Hell wouldn't take him.

"Hidan, hm?" I asked.

He turned around. "What the f**k is it?"

I rolled my eyes. Always has to be the tough man. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. Kakuzu's still alive."

I felt like hitting the palm of my hand on my forehead…but that would squash the clay bomb…er…sculpture. "No, it's not that!"

Kakuzu suddenly stopped in his tracks. Whipping out his red scythe, Hidan was running towards me with fury written on his face. Kakuzu dropped the old man and got into battle position. Hidan ordered me to duck. I slowly turned my head to see a giant (about 5 f**king feet tall) shadow shuriken windmill heading straight towards me. I wish Hesper were here. Hesper was the one who disarmed the weapons with her sword. Instead of listening to Hidan (Which was the smart thing to do), I ran my blue chakra through the clay dragon expanding it. At the same time, my left hand swiftly channeled chakra through the paintbrush and etched a flying dragon in midair. I threw down the deadly bomb, hopped on the green dragon, and ordered it to fly into the sky.

The GIANT (Seriously whoever just threw that has got to be really strong. That thing is like what? 500 pounds?) (A/N: The shuriken is 600 pounds…close enough) windmill shuriken was blown back to the thrower by the force of the explosion. Instead of chopping up whoever just threw that, a gloved hand caught the handle and folded the four parts up. My eyes gazed down at a girl with dirty blonde hair that was about 12 years old, hm. She had a Konoha vest. That meant she was at least a chunin. Kasashi and his little midgets were also behind her.

The blonde girl started to yell at me. "Hiri! We finally found you!"

Standing on my dragon, I scratched the back of my head. How in the world did she know my name, hm?

Hidan glared up at me. "You f**king know this brat?"

I glanced at her. Another 5 foot big windmill shuriken was strapped to the back of her vest. Jeez. That girl was strong just like Hesper. My eyes widened in shock! Hesper! That girl had some type of connection with Hesper! "What was her name again? I?"

She nodded. "Yes that's my name!" (A/N: Ai and I are pronounced the same way.)

"Itachi, hm?" I mumbled to myself.

The other brat with the duck-butt hair glared at me. (There were so many!) "You know about Itachi?" (A/N: Remember. They don't know anything about the Akatsuki yet.)

Kakuzu slapped his forehead. "Hiri you baka! Don't tell them anything about the Akatsuki secret organization!"

There was a moment of silence as everyone processed this information.

"You senile old man!" Hidan and I shouted at the same time. I made my dragon drift so I was next to Kakuzu.

I glanced back at the girl. Wait! She had blonde hair! Just like that girl! "Is your name Ino?"

The girl twitched. "No! You got it right the first time!"

I cocked my head to the side. "Your name is Itachi, hm?"

She slapped her face. "Don't you remember Hiri-san? My name is Ai!"

"I, hm?"

"Yes Ai!"

"Like the pronoun, hm. That's a stupid name." I mumbled to myself.

"No! Like the feeling!"

"Hate?"

"No! The word for love!" She shouted half-exasperated.

It finally clicked. "Oh! Ai!"

Kasashi and Hidan sighed. "That's Hiri alright."

I cocked my head to the side again. "Do I know you?"

"Yes! I'm Hesper-sensei's student!"

Hidan, Kakuzu, and I choked in horror. She had a student? Oh wait! I remember now! I sent the other two students on a mission that "accidentally" killed them. They hated Jashin…so I hated them.

Ai growled. "It's time for you to retire."

Kakashi sighed. "Don't get too excited Ai."

She growled and unhooked the other BIG-ASS Shuriken. "It's time to end it!"

HESPER'S POV

"WATER CLONE JUSTU!!" I shouted.

"You are…using…that for shopping." Sasori muttered.

"Yep!" I said as my clones dashed away.


	14. Christmas Special: Black Death!

Author's Note:

Hesper: Konniciwha Everyone!!! ^.^ *wearing a Santa hat*

Hiri: We have an ultra special notice for you all, hm. *wearing deer antlers with red nose*

Hesper: That's right! We are going to have an ultra special event that has to do with the holidays….

Tobi: Yays! We wanted to do this because you all were good readers! *wearing elf ears and green santa hat*

Hesper, Hiri, and Tobi: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!!!!!

Hiri: That's right! The author decided to have a Christmas (sorry for people of different religions, but hey! I'm not Christen either. I just love presents.) special just because you all were good readers, hm.

Hesper: So if you want to suggest anything…go on ahead! But…please be mature.

Hiri: *Laughs* Ironic much, hm.

Tobi: VicEveSamAlex wants to remind you that she does not own Naruto. She does own Hiri and Hesper though.

Hiri: She would also like to apologize in advance if she insults anyone's traditions or religions and please no flaming.

Hesper: She would also like to apologize for the shallowness of Hiri, Hidan, and Hesper…hey wait! Author! That's wrong! I'm not shallow at all! I demand a script check! Author!

Tobi: The author will also like to remind the Sasori-fangirls out there that Hesper will love Sasori-danna and vice versa. They are just a little slow on love. She would also like to remind you that she is NOT a Hidan fangirl and only wrote that part because of her friend, Hiri.

Hiri: Sigh…let the show begin.

* * *

Leader stared at Hiri in shock. His shoulders were leaned back and his eyes were wide. This girl was astounding. She marched right into the room (without knocking) and slammed her fist onto his dark brownish-redish smooth $500-dollored mahogany desk. Leaning forward, she addressed him in a rude fashion.

"What is the meaning of this, um?" She asked in a dangerous voice.

Leader recomposed himself and rolled his pen between his forefinger and thumb. "I don't comprehend what you are addressing."

"Christmas! Christmas! What happened to Christmas! Why is there no Christmas for the Akatsuki, yep?" She questioned.

Leader sat up straighter as Hiri leaned back and impatiently waited for the answer. Searching for the correct words and clearing his throat, he wondered who on earth was stupid enough to invite two teenagers into an S-ranked criminal organization full of men. Whoever came up with that dense idea was to be punished. Oh wait. That was himself.

"S-rank criminals don't have time to be celebrating Christmas. Putting up decorations and celebrating not only wastes time, but it also wastes money and alerts other shinobi our location. Besides, aren't you a Jashinist?"

Hiri twitched. "I am a loyal Jashinst, but I want presents damnit!" She stamped her foot angrily.

Leader has never seen an S-ranked criminal stamp her foot like a brat. He can now say he never wants to see it again.

"Sure, don't blow anything up. Don't do anything stupid. Convince Kakuzu and Hidan." Leader paused. "Good luck."

* * *

IN HIDAN'S ROOM….

"WTF! No! I will not celebrate some f**king pagan holiday, and I'm not going around pretending to love a fat old guy who needs to lose weight!"

"C'mon, Hidan! There will be presents, hm." She nearly begged. "And food!"

"It's a stupid s**tty Jewish-"

"Christen, hm," Hiri interrupted.

"-ritual! We are Jashinsts!" He barked in her face.

"WHY YOU…."

* * *

DUE TO UNNECESSARY VIOLENCE PORTRAYED IN THIS SCENE, THE AUTHOR DECIDED TO BLOCK IT OUT. SHE DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE REPORTED FOR VIOLENCE. ^.^"

* * *

"Mxfqzotiwecsilawetyugbsableh….." Hidan mumbled.

"That's what I thought you said, yep." The violent teenager said. "And clean up your blood and guts that's all over the floor."

* * *

After that, Hiri ventured into Kakuzu's room. At first, Kakuzu immediately refused, claiming that it wouldn't fit the budget. However, after Hiri showed Kakuzu a suitcase full of the greens, he quickly agreed, stating that he loved the smell of pine and that it would be a wonderful chance to get to know everyone. What he didn't know was that the suitcase full of money was stolen from Kakuzu two weeks ago by Hesper. But, what he didn't know wouldn't kill him right?

Days went by and all the Akatsuki members seemed to be enjoying Christmas. Hesper and Kisame traveled to the Konoha forests to find the best, as Tobi worded it, most magical Christmasy pine tree. Sasori and Deidara were busy putting up the Christmas lights, which of course, brought many arguments about art. Hiri, the best (and only) cook in the Akatsuki, was whipping up everything she thought of. Gingerbread houses, sugar cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, hot chocolate, turkey, and other exotic Japanese foods sprung from the whimsy ingredients and blossomed into delicious foods. Konan quietly put up the Christmas tree decorations, she didn't need the four artists killing each other over it. Itachi, using the Grand Fireball Justu, attended to the warm crackling fire. Tobi, was of course, working his hardest. Hanging up stockings, cramming Santa hats on the Akatsuki members, and basically as he put it "making the place look pretty". Kakuzu, being the Scrooge in the Christmas Carol, managed the budget from the safety of his couch. Hidan sat in his little emo corner mumbling and cursing about this stupid pagan holiday. Everyone was obviously working hard, so hard in fact, on Christmas Eve…they realized they forgot something very important….

"CRAP!" Hiri exclaimed as she gripped the deer antlers on her head. "We forgot the mistletoe, hm!"

Deidara's right eye twitched. "Mistletoe, yeah?"

"Every Christmas party has to have a mistletoe!"epser shouted as she crammed her Santa hat on her head.

Tobi scratched his head in a very Tobish way, "What is a mistletoe?"

Hesper sighed. "A mistletoe, or _Viscum album,_ is a parasitic plant that grows on branches of evergreen trees, where it forms bushes up to 2 to 5 feet in diameter. When the sticky berries come in contact with the bark of tree, generally pollinated through bird feces, it will grow. After a few days, it forms a think fragile root that pierces the bark of the growing wood. It has the ability to tap into the juices and the nutrients of the host; thereby making it a parasite. The forked yellow stem is smooth. The thick leaves resemble a human's tongue, broader at the ends, and roughly about 1 to 3 inches long. The small flowers, which bloom around May, are arranged in threes near the forks of the branches. However, the flowers will differ depending on the sex of the flower. The fruit is a smooth milky white berry that ripens in December."

"If used correctly, it can cure tight muscles, improve circulation, internal bleeding, convulsions, arthritis, gout, hysteria, asthma, whooping cough, hypertension, dizziness, headaches, rapid heartbeat, etc. Because of the chemical reactions that happen within the brain cells that allows to user to experience calming effects, this plant is also used for a tranquilizer for physical and mental exhaustion. Although the mistletoe is a toxic plant, the herb is used and highly respected in the medical field. The side effects are convulsions if young children eat the berries." Hesper stared at Tobi with knowingly eyes.

"Boil 2 ounces of the bruised plant with a half of pint of water and give one tablespoon to the patient. Ten to sixty grains of the crushed powder with cold water is also good for the digestive organs and treating ulcers. They can use to cure severe stitches." She began to go on and mutter to herself. "I need to replenish my supply of herbs and medicine; I used all the other ones up last night. Let's see for Kampo, I need mistletoes, tealeaves, angelica roots, licorices, bamboo shavings, jujube seeds, skullcap roots, sesame seeds, sawtooth oak bark, Japanese ginseng roots, etc. Arghh. Can't get the ginseng roots because it's December and it doesn't grow around here, and buying it at the market is more expensive and less effective…." (A/N: Kampo is the Japanese medical art of herbal treatment. Sakura uses this style when she is using herbs, grinding it up as tea, and feeding it to Kankuro.)

"SHUT THE HELL UP, HM!!!!" Hiri yelled.

Deidara, who was still processing the whole lecture, started up. "Wait! What do you mean by using all your herb and medicine? I helped you replenish your supply last week, hm!"

"How in the world did you know all that?" Kisame asked Hesper. Then, he turned to Deidara. "And why were you off picking flowers with my sister?"

Hesper sighed. "I'm not THAT dumb."

"Um….you see…um…er…" Deidara stuttered.

Tobi scratched his head again. "So…the mistletoe is where?"

Hesper sighed. "Forest to the left of the base. Look for evergreen trees that look like they are dying."

"Okay! Tobi will be a good boy and find the mistletoe!" He gleefully skipped outside and headed towards the forest to the RIGHT of the base.

After a long moment of silence, Konan sat up and set her hot chocolate down in the process. "I small accompany Tobi. Thank you for the hot chocolate, Hiri-san, it was delicious."

"No prob, yep! I'm glad someone likes my cooking." Hiri stated as she glared at Deidara and Hidan.

"What? It's not my fault your food tastes like s**t." Hidan mumbled defensibly.

"Er…I wanted to go on a…er…diet, yeah." Deidara said meekly.

Itachi snorted into his mug. "That just proves that you are a woman."

"NANI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Deidara shouted.

* * *

CHRISTMAS DAY

Everyone awoke to Christmas with a blanket of snow over the trees and grass. The disgruntled members got up and aided by the trio (meaning Hesper, Hiri, and Tobi) began opening presents.

* * *

HESPER'S POV

Yays! It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's snowing! It's a white Christmas! I galloped my way to Sushi-onichan. He will be so happy when he sees my Christmas gift!

"Sushi-onichan!" I squealed.

He did a full body twitch. "Don't call me that…."

"Merry Christmas!" I pulled out his newly bandaged, polished, and cleaned sword. "It was messy and bloodily and you never cleaned it since like 10 years. So I decided to clean it for you!"

Kisame-onichan couldn't help but crack a hint of a smile. "Thanks kid. Here. Now don't you go overboar-"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Kawaii!" I practically strangled Kisame in a bear hug.

I took a long look at the clear bowl Kisame gave me. A lone beautiful fish koi glided through the weeds. His (yes it's a boy) orange and black scales sparkled. It was about 2 feet long and it was gianatic, but the Japanese fighting fish or Doitsu have splatters of red, orange, black, and white scales. Doitsu was known for its anger, ferociousness, and terror. It's clear white and black eyes gazed at me in a wise stare as I tapped my chin, thinking of a suitable name for him.

"I'll name it Kokushibyo!" I shouted.

Kisame twitched. "Black Death?"

"Yep!"

Christmas went on like this. I received a polished set of kunai from Itachi, Zetsu, and Pein. I literally got a penny from Kakuzu. Hidan gave me a stake. Konan gifted me with a paper rose. Tobi gave be exactly 3 pounds of candy canes. Deidara gave me some other weapons and art supplies. Last but not least, Sasori-danna gave me puppet parts for me to assemble. Yays!!!!!!!!!!

I gave people….

Itachi: A bottle of his favorite nail polish. (He did one of his unemotional-thank-you stares.)

Kakuzu: Back all the money I stole from him. (I ran away after I gave him it.)

Tobi: A bag full of candy and a Teddy bear. (He squealed and hugged me, earning him a lecture from Kisame.)

Konan: Expensive Japanese origami paper. (She used one of her slow gentle smiles with this.)

Pein: Sharp magnets! (They automatically flew to his face because of his earrings. .)

Zetsu: 5 dead cats! (I left it in his room, so Kisame wouldn't see.)

Hidan: A stake. (Yeah…I was running out of ideas…)

Deidara: Clay! (He hugged me on this one.)

Sasori-danna: Puppet tools. (He did on of those smirks. I think he was happy….I think.)

Sasuke: Yes, I did give him something…..!!!!!!!!

Ai: Ha. She's like that. ^.^

I trotted towards Deidara, I still haven't given Hiri her gift yet. ^.^

"Hey Deidara-baka!" I shouted as I tapped him on the shoulder.

He turned around. "What do you want hm?"

I smirked and whispered my idea into his right eye.

"Oh God. You seriously-"

I nodded slowly. "Yes. That's the plan."

He shivered. "Why me, yeah? Why not Kisame or Itachi?"

"You're her brother!"

He shook his head. "No. I value my life you know. I don't want to be sacrificed to Jashin or whatever her God's name is."

I smirked. Pan B. I yawned. "Okay, I'll ask Itachi then. After all, he's much STRONGER and BRAVER than you are. He could easily use him Sharigun to help me."

Deidara twitched. "Fine! Fine! Just give me the rope and blindfold, yeah."

I smirked. "I'll do Hiri. You'll do Hidan."

* * *

Hiri's POV

Argh. I got a lot of weopans from the Akatsuki members. I gave Zetsu a dead body….

"Hey Zetsu, hm! Your presents lying in your room. I didn't feel like dragging it here in front of Dei!" I shouted.

He licked his lips and smirked.

I gave Kakuzu a heart……

I plopped the black bag on his lap.

"What the heck is this brat?" He snarled at me. "And why is it wet and beating?"

I smirked. "It's a plan b. In cause one of your other hearts have heart attacks.

As I was walking towards Hidan who was mumbling some curse words, a unseen hand twisted my left and right arms behind my back. With speed only a ninja could have, the person quickly tied my hands together tightly. I snarled and whipped around trying to see who the ninja was, but the same hands tighten a black blindfold onto my face, shrouding me from the outside world. I accessed the situation calmly.

"Who the f**k is f**king tying me up and f**king blindfolding me? I'll kill that b**ch, yep!"

A small chuckled came from the left side of me as two soft but strong hands pushed me forward. "Don't worry. You'll be thanking me later…." A feminine voice laughed.

"Hesper? Why you b**-"

"Don't curse. I hate it when you do that." She pushed me forward.

"What the h**l are you doing, sure?" I growled.

She giggled. "Giving you a swift kick in the backside,"

"What do you mean by that, hm?" I asked roughly.

She continued dragging me forward. "Nothing…nothing at all,"

After a few moments, she stopped and swiftly cut the rope and removed the stupid blindfold. Stupid thing. As my eyes adjusted to the lights, I saw two large figures before me. One had long blonde hair tied in a ponytail. The other taller figure had grey hair.

Deidara and Hesper did a knuckle touch. "Good job."

"What the f**k? Why are we here?" Hidan shouted.

Deidara and Hesper simultaneously pointed upward. Hidan and I gazed up at the green plant above us.

_It was a damn mistletoe…_

Hesper grasped Deidara by the shoulder and steered him away. "Have fun!"

Hidan looked at me then back at the mistletoe. "Well…this sucks." He simply put.

I gazed at him. His head, eyes, everything was just so hot. His handsome purple eyes stared back at me nervously. His eyes were like pools of poison. Soft and beautiful to look at, but dangerous and threatening at the same time. He pursed his finely sculpted lips together. The top of my head only reached his nose, so I was staring at his strong wellbuilt chest and abs. I gulped. There should be a law for a guy to be this hot.

My heart missed a couple beats, and I felt my face blossom hues of red and pink. I directed my gazed to the wall next to me. We were standing in an open empty corridor…alone. Oh Jashin please save me.

Suddenly, Hidan roughly seized my shoulders and mumbled to himself. "May Jashin forgive us."

He slammed his rough, but soft lips onto my own. My heart jumped in surprise. For a moment, my body refused to budge. Then, my shoulders relaxed and my hands melted. I drank in every moment of it; after all, we might now get another moment like this. His heart pounded it beat with mine, as if our hearts were intertwined. With each moment that passed, I could feel my heart flutter in excitement. My eyes closely closed themselves, too scared to open them back up. Suddenly, a tongue roughly ran across my smooth lower lip. I gasped in the suddenly contact. His tongue skillfully slipped in and roamed around my mouth. His arms wrapped around my waist as mine wounded around his neck. This was definitely the best night of my life.

* * *

HESPER'S POV

Deidara kept wanting to go back and check on Hiri. "Are you sure this is a good idea, hm?"

I nodded. "Yep. Hiri is responsible enough to just keep it at a kiss. Believe me. She learned from that stupid mistake."

Deidara sighed. "They better not be doing anything, hm."

My right eye twitch and I stopped in the middle of the corridor.

Deidara noticed my halt and stared at me. "What's wrong, hm?"

I shivered and continued on. "The mental pictures scared me…that's all."

Deidara sighed and looked up. "Holy c**p."

It was now my turn to gaze at him. "What wrong now?"

He slowly pointed up.

My head slowly craned upwards. My eyes widened in shock, and my mouth fell open in horror. I took and step back while Deidara remained unmoved.

"It's going to kill Tobi, hm." He growled.

Strung on a piece of red string…was a mistletoe bush…innocently hanging there.

I snapped back to reality when I saw Deidara moving towards me. I weaved the lion, bird, boar, and snake hand seals. Then I poofed away with the teleportation justu.

* * *

Konoha…

Sasuke glared at the piece of paper he got. Then, with a burst of anger, he fire-ball-justued it to crisp. He killed two trees and nearly broke his finger. Then he suddenly with a roar of anger he nearly killed Naruto with his Lion barrage.

Ai looked at the remains of the blackened paper…

_Itachi and Hesper say "Hi" ^.^_

_-Hesper_

On that Christmas day, the Konoha citizens experienced the wraith of two prodigies…

* * *

A/N: Sorry the ending was so sudden. I hoped you all liked it…

Nani: What

Baka: Idiot

Oni-chan: Older brother

Danna: master

Kawaii: Cute.

Koi: A type of Japanese fish.

Kokushibyo: black death.

Doitsu: A species of Koi

Kampo: A form of medicine.

Konnichawau: Hello!

Ja Ne: See Ya!

If you have any troubles or complaints, you can review so I know how to make it better for you all! ^.^ Ja Ne! Happy Hoildays!


	15. Just a question

**Author's Note: Sorry everyone! I'm really sorry! Gomen nasai! *author bows and smashed her glasses to the ground* I know I haven't been updating lately. With my SAT's, algebra midterm, Chinese finals, Chinese New Years introduction, and school, I've been pretty messed up. In fact, I'm amazed that I've even found the time to write this author's note. I just want to say, yes, Hiri and Ai will fight. I repeat, Hiri and Ai will fight TO THE DEATH!! (JK. If Ai dies, I'm screwed in Shippuuden *spoiler for next chapters*.) They will fight, but I just want to ask the viewers two questions. Okay, so...unless you don't live in America, do you guys know what Valentine's Day is? If you don't, then look it up. **

**Hiri: It's basically a disgusting immoral day where then celerbrate love.**

**Hesper: *giggles* I know why she hates it. *giggles***

**Hiri: SHUT THE F**K UP YOU PAGAN!!!!!**

**Hesper: Anko set her up on a blind date....with...tehe...Hayata!! !!! .**

**Hiri: *glares* You got set up with GUI of ALL PEOPLE!!!!**

**Hesper: *Emo corner* sd;kfjaougn;wrgn;amsg;dofighcvbkm,,amenrawektujnharwu;txfmg**

**Author: So do you guys have any suggestions preferably not M rated? I'm not going to have Hidan or Sasori do OOC (out of character) stuff like roses. It's going to be...rather...interesting?...no...that's not the word...."special?...no...maybe it's mentally retarded. However, if you have any suggestions you guys can review and make suggestions. **

**Another thing...I rather like Ai(she's based off of a real person *cough**cough* my friend *cough**cough*). The ending (yes I planned out the ending.) is going to be just that. No sequel. No The Dragon Twin Sisters Two. No The Dragon Twin Sisters kids. I mean, let's face it, Naruto is going to win and all the Akatsuki members are going to die or become vegatables (and I don't mean the kind you eat), so there is not going to be a sequel where the Akatsuki wins and Naruto and Konoha loses because I want to be realistic. The bad guys always loses, and the good guys win. BUT!!! If you like Ai, I'm planning to have "The Dragon Twin Sisters: Ai's Story". Where it's Ai's POV with her sensei (Hesper) and her team. I'm going to write it after I'm done this fanfiction. Please tell me if this sounds good or not. It would really help me if you guys did. The more help I get; the better the story is. **

**Hesper: Please help Author-sensei. She needs a LOT OF IT!!!! (Mentally and physically)**

**Author-kami (Yes, I call myself author-kami (god). Deal.): First of all, it's author sensei. Second of all, I am not mentally or physically cha-_BAMB!!!!_ WTF?!?!?! Where did that wall come from?!?!**

**Hiri: Hey you are not God! Jashin is dammint!**

**Pein: No, I'm God beca-**

**Author-kami: No, I'm the goddess of fanfiction!!!**

**Hiri: THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!! AND THAT GOD IS JASHIN!!!**

**Itachi: More like the goddess of retards.**

**Sasori: Or the queen of retardia.**

**Kisame: ...or the goddess of stupidty.**

**Tobi: TOBI THINKS AUTHOR-SENPAI IS VERY SMART!!!!**

**Author-kami: ^.^**

**Kisame: Coming from Tobi, it's not a compliment.**

**Author-san: ...**

**So review and say if you want "The Dragon Twin Sisters: Ai's Story" and if you want to suggest something for Valentine's Day. ^.^**


	16. Cookiesnot the good kind

_**Narrotar's voice.**_

_Voice #1_

_Voice #2_

Voice #3

_**Author's Note: I have some extremely unforunate news: my computer has viruses and cookies. **The good kinds? No you dumbo, the bad kinds._ Be nice people._** My computer heavily damaged that all I can do on it is turn it on and get a blue screen with lots of random words. **Well, this is bad. No Shit Captain Obvious._Can we all be nice to each other?!?!?! _**For all the fanfiction I am writing (Hiryu Yotaru, The Dragon Twin Sisters, and Luffy's Sister, Zoro's Lover), it will bring an untimely halt on updating all of them. Unforuntatly, I do not know what time my computer will be fixed nor how much data I will lose (I type all of my fanfiction on the Word documents, so for the next part of the chapters that aren't there yet might be erased, and this only applies to The Dragon Twin Sisters and Luffy's Sister, Zoro's Lover.) In the meantime I will try my best to write and update as best as I can on other people's computer. **Until the computer is fixed. Why don't you just get a labtop?_ You know VicEveSamAlex's parents. They're trying their best to help. Be patiend Voice #2. _What caused the viruses anyway? Your butt-ugly face caused it to go it shock..._ You get a time out Voice #2. _No way, I'm too old for a time out.** I AM NOT DISCONUTINING ANY OF MY FANFICTION. I REPEAT I WILL NOT STOP WRITING AND UPDATING....I'm just sort of it a sticky block. It's a bit different from a Writer's block. It's a block called, "The-stupid-computer-is-infected-with-viruses-and-I-can't-update-my-fanfiction-for-my-fans block". But, I will try to the best of my abitiles to update as soon as possible. And believe me, I have enough peer pressure from my friends, and I do not enjoy the semi-crashed computer anymore than I have to. I will try my best! I will even write on a type writer if I have too! Yes! I will brave tall mountions and ghastly winds and tall tsunamis (not the person in my fanfiction, the actual storm) and hot deserts just to write fanfiction!!!! Yes! I will fight a battle against deadly diseases that are raving my poor computer!! Yes!!!! *author goes on a rant***_

-VicEveSamAlex


	17. Valetine's Day Special

**A/N: Sorry about the delays guys! I've been on the computer at the library every time the computer was available. Gomennasi! *author humbly bows in apology to the readers if any* I know I promised the Valentine's Day special on the 14th of February but, things got out of hand. The viruses. The writer's blocks. **

**Hesper: *on air* THE AUTHOR APOLOGIZES FOR ANY MISTAKES THAT SHE MADE AND HOPES YOU CAN ALL FORGIVE HER FOR BEING LATE. SHE'S TOO LAZY TOO DO THE DISCLAIMER AND STUFF LIKE THAT, SO SHE IS FORCING US TO DO IT.**

**Hiri: VicEveSamAlex does not in any shape or form, own Naruto which belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. She only owns Hesper, Hiri, and Ai. NO ONE OWNS ME, SURE!!!!! And I find it very insulting that Hesper has more lines that I do. I mean c'mon people, I'm stronger than her! Plus, the handwriting here is horrible! I can't even read it, yep. **

**Author: Oh please, my handwriting is not that bad! *grabs the script* You just have to squint really really hard. See?**

**Hiri and Hiri: ...**

**Hesper: *still on air* AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE IS THE DRAGON TWIN SISTERS: VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL!!!!**

**Hiri: I still can't believe she got more lines than me. That's favoritism, yep!  
**

**

* * *

**Hidan. What was a Hidan? A Hidan is an animal or person that has the name of Hidan and had a violent belief system called Jashin where the user believed in sins. That my friends is a Hidan. (See _bloodthirsty animal _for more details.) What was Hidan's personality? Hidan is one of the most foul-mouthed, disrespectful people in the world; he frequently swears and complains at allies and opponents alike and held respect only towards Hiri and Jashin...which totally explains why a pencil and a piece of pink piece was forced into his hand by Deidara. Sitting at a round coffee table in a lonely living room, the pair were surrounding by easier shavings that were inching away like caterpillars, crumpled up paper that marked failures, and the broken pencils that were snapped in half. Deidara seemed to be concentrating on a lavish clay sculpture that so far looked like a upside-down orange slice. Hidan who was _this close _to sacrificing someone to Jashin. Crumpling up another of his numerous failed poems, he tossed it into a corner, where it belonged.

"Hey, do I have to do this dumb s**t?" asked Hidan.

Deidara sighed, having to already gone through this conversation for at least 50 times. "Yes, it's for my sister! You want to her be happy right, yeah?"

Hidan scowled. "Look, I'll just tell her that I love her and give her flowers. Isn't that stuff enough instead of doing all this crap?"

"No! If you truly care for someone, you'll butter them up and give them something so they'll shut up, hm!" Deidara yelled.

"Oh, so that ugly clay stuff is for Tobi?"

"NO!!!!! IT'S FOR-" Deidara automatically recomposed himself, remembering that Akatsuki member acted cool. "Anyway, what do you have so far?"

Hidan handed over the best poem out of the lot he written (he stopped counting at 34). Deidara frowned. "Seriously, yeah?"

_Dear Hiri,_

_I f**king hate Valentine's Day, so let's just say that I wrote you a poem to make your brother happy._

Hidan glared at the blonde comrade.

"Valentine's Day is tomorrow; you better be ready, yeah."

* * *

Valentine's Day started off shaky. Tobi was bright eyed and bushy tailed, decorating the lair with bright pink and red "things". Cupids, hearts, chocolate, roses, and other lovey dovey things adored the room. Upon the floor was sprinkled heart-shaped confetti that were scented like roses. The said flowers were in dozens and wrapped in silk pink ribbons and placed in glass vases on the tables with white frilly tablecloths. Taped cupids, hearts, and doves were dancing on the walls as Tobi hasty painted them pink. In the kitchen, a irradiated, grumbling Hiri was making blueberry heart-shaped waffles with heart-shaped zombies. Putting one waffle on a clean white plate, she loaded it with thick maple syrup and put the half cut strawberries to the side next to the candy hearts. Then with talents that only Hiri could have she sprinkled crushed chocolate chips onto the syrup. Adding a little spice made by Hesper that made anything have less fat, cholesterol, sodium, and stuff like that, she grinned at her one in 12 masterpieces. Her right eye twitched; she was _this close _to killing Tobi. Fortunately, she refrained from this horrid action and continued to make waffles. Tobi observed the angry way that Hiri-senpei slammed the waffle maker on the stove and the way that her right hand twitched, no this wasn't the Valentine's Day spirit at all! Valentine's Day was supposed to be made with love and joy! Not angry and resentment! Tobi dumped the last waffle in the trash, practically making Hiri explode with angry.

"Why did you dump out the waffle, yep!" She screamed in his ear.

"They were made without love and joy." Tobi simply stated as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

Hiri lifted the very hot burning pan in a threatening manner. "I'm going to put a lot of heart into this, yep!!"

The day trudged by slowly. After the mouth-watering waffles, everyone quickly glided away from the pink disease know as Valentine's Day. Konan acted like she didn't see all the pink and went on with her business as usual. Kakuzu didn't dare come out of his room for fear of a certain orange-masked demon. Hiri was extra snappy and everyone steered clear of her. Tobi gave Leader-sama a candy heart that said "Fresh" earning an eyebrow raiser from the "Future ruler of the world". Zetus was seen talking to a potted plant (Kisame swore that it was a daisy). Hesper refused to eat breakfast or come out of her room, and whenever someone tried to open the locked door she would hiss and shout that she didn't want the love to affect her brain, so she draped a sheet over her hunched over body and faced a corner as she rocked her body too and fro. Finally, Tobi couldn't take it anyone. Where was the love? Where was the joy? Where was the Valentine's Day spirit? This would not do. With great force and hard work, he managed to drag everyone to the living room. Trying to act important, he stood on the same coffee table that Deidara and Hidan were working on the other day and pointed a finger at the sky.

"Tobi thought of a really great idea!!!!!" He shouted in delight only to receive a handful of rueful stares. "Let''s all say something nice to a everyone around here to show how much you appreciate them."

He received plenty of WTF, I-can't-believe-he's-making-us-do-this, and I'm-going-to-kill-you-slowly-and-painfully glares.

"I'll start! Deidara-san, I appreciate you because you are my friend. Hidan-san, i appreciate you because you have a beautiful face. Itachi-san, I appreciate you because you are a kind person. Leader-sama I appreciate you because you are fresh!"

He went around the room continued to mentally scar the others. Finally, when he was done, he took a deep breathe and said, "Now, it's Hiri-senpai's turn!!!!!"

A dark aura came from the said girl. With evil that matched Itachi, she didn't stop hugging her knees. Her blue eyes were downcast with her hair covering her face. The people next to her quickly scooted away in terror. With surprising bitterness, she acidly spat out some words, "_**I hate you all...a lot, so don't make me kill you all...**_" Then she trailed off.

Tobi quickly switched to others. It was quite a surprise that they actually participated.

Itachi: Kisame, I appreciate you because you're one of my parnters that haven't been killed.

Kakuzu: I thank you Hidan...for....nothing. I hate you.

Konan: I appericate Hesper and Hiri for being the only girls in the Akatsuki with me.

Pein: I appreciate Tobi...because....of....the...er....candy he gives me.

Deidara: I appreciate Sasori because he is another person interested in art.

Sasori: I appericate Deidara because the brat doesn't get in my way.

Finally, he got to Hesper. "Hesper? It's your turn!"

She was sitting in a corner with her knees up to her chest and head bowed making her aqua hair act like a curtain. With the most innocent expression on her face, she lifted up her head to stare back at the Akatuki in the certain of the room. With body gestures that mocked those of a scared abandoned girl, she softly whispered. "Hun? Did I do something wrong?"

Tobi paused to look at the fragile position the girl was in. "It's your turn!!!!"

She looked at the Akatsuki members with a blank stare. Then she said in a quiet voice, "What's the purpose of this activity? It's to show each other that we love each other right? Then, what's the purpose if we already know that we love each other? It's not naturally to outright tell what you like about someone. Why? Because in life you always have to look for the finer brushstrokes to understand each other. This game is just making us nervous and is not really helping."

Tobi blinked. "Please?"

She shook her head. "No, I have nothing nice to say about them."

Kisame sighed. "She's in one of her moods...."

Hiri nodded. "Yep."

"Do it Hesper," Kisame barked.

Hesper's lonely far-off eyes looked at her older brother. "Fine. Tobi, I like you because you make me laugh, and happiness is the best medicine. Konan you are probably the nicest person I've ever met and sometimes I think of you as a mother that I never had. Leader-sama you are by far the most strongest-willed person in this organization, and without that, we would fall apart. Hidan, although you have a dirty mouth, you're recklessness is comforting in a brotherly way. Itachi, I know deep down inside, you really care about the people that are closes to you and that you're hurting inside. Zetsu, don't feel like a outsider, just because you look like a certain way doesn't mean you aren't cool. Kakuzu, you are like a teacher; when we goof off too much you put us back in line. Kisame you are probably the best brother I ever had and thank you for not killing me. Sasori-danna you are a great artist. Hiri, you already know how I feel. Deidara...you....um...umm...." Hesper had a blank face on. She blinked a couple of times. Then she looked at Leader-sama and said, "Can I get back to him? I can't think of anything good about him."

Peels of laughter erupted around the room as Deidara pouted in anger. Hesper managed to crack a smile at the thought of making everyone happy.

* * *

It was 11:59 PM. Hidan growled as he nervously clutched his Jashin pendant. Hiri's favorite time of the day was 11:59 AM just before 12:00 AM. Why? Because vampires from the storybook that Deidara read to her when she was a little kid where killing people at midnight. Whenever she killed people, it was most often at 11:59 AM...please refrain from telling other important ninjas about this...it would spoil the killing sprees. Deidara was glaring at him the whole entire day. Hidan would act all cool and pretend not to care, but deep deep deep deep deep deep down inside (Is there a deep inside Hidan?) he knew that Deidara had the ability to blow Hidan up into s**t that was so small Kakuzu wouldn't be able to help (not that he would offer it). Hidan looked at the bundle of roses that Deidara instructed him to give to Hiri and threw it in the trash. Useless. She despised roses and sappy things like Valentine's Day. Hidan was pretty sure that she was pissed off at Tobi for even thinking about the word love. Clutching something in his hand, he walked calmly to the living room, where Hiri was talking to Hesper.

"Ha-ha!" Hesper crowed, her first laugh all week. "Remember last Valentine's day? Anko set you up with Scarecrow-senpai! Ha-ha!"

Hiri twitched from the sudden flashback. "You shouldn't be laughed. After all, you were paired with....Gui-san on a blind date, yep! And I still have the pictures for blackmailing...yep!"

"What?!?! Impossible, I raided your house and stole all the evidence of the event!"

Hiri nodded. "True, I noticed your traces of your chakra from the raid, but I kept extra copies with me, hm!"

Hidan cleared his throat (Deidara taught him to be a gentleman). "Hey, Hiri, come on. We're going. Pack your stuff now."

Hiri looked confused. "What? Where, hm?"

Hidan sighed and carried her over his shoulder. "Just hurry up."

"Hey! Put me down! I demand to be put down right now Hidan I dunno your middle or last name III!!!! Put me down! I'm calling my lawyer and agent! I can't have you manhandling me while I'm having an argument! What are you doing to me, hm?" Hiri shouted in protest as Hesper watched clearly amused.

Hidan cursed under is breathe for her being so loud. "I'M JUST F-ING ABDUCTING YOU OKAY? DO YOU HAVE A B***H PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!"

Hiri shrugged and seemed fine with the fact that Hidan was abducting her against her will. "Sure, why not, yep."

* * *

Now with Hiri gone with who knows where, Hesper sulked in her room acting like someone just died (knock on wood). Not a sound of laughter, screams, explosions, and other gross sounds reverberated from her room. With this strange act, the other Akatsuki members began getting edgy. Kisame tried to bring her out and introduce her to the world several times, but the only sound was silence. Sasori, with a room next to her, found the silence soothing. Finally, he could have time to work on his projects and art and not have that constant screaming shredding the air that was coming from the room. Concerning for his teammate's well-being, he questioned Kisame multiple times if she was having issues. Kisame would blink and ask him to specify which problem Hesper had. After reassuring Sasori that this was perfectly natural for blood-curling screams to erupt from her room in 2:30 in the morning, he would wave it off and nervously chuckle. However, now, with no more screaming...Sasori was a little worried that Hesper killed herself. With an annoyed expression on his face, he politely, but forcefully knocked on the door.

"Akasuna, what do you want with me?" Hesper demanded, knowing it was Sasori from the rhythm of the bangs.

Surprised with the name "Akasuna" he paused. Was this really the same girl and not a impostor? "Let me in."

With a British accent, she replied back, "And on what accounts, my good sir, should I follow your request?"

Sasori sighed. Threatening the door with his scorpion tail, he growled and began to speak with his most commanding voice, "Don't make me break down the door."

"Mleh."

With surprising force, the puppet tail shot out and stabbed the door. When the door was caved in, Sasori gave it another whack with the flat edge of his tail. Walking in the dismal room,usually sunny room, he disarmed all the traps, explosive paper, weapons, and broke down the hasty built dirt wall. Hesper, lonely and depressed, sat on the windowsill staring out the window and gazed out at the meadow in the distance. In the reflection, Sasori could see her painfully solemn face. With her muscle-toned body lending against the perturbing wall and her knees tucked to her small chest, Sasori and Hesper stared at each other's reflection in the window. Hesper wondered if things were always like this, seeing an illusion made of fragile glass of a person, and not the real thing.

"Does the Leader want something with me?"

Sasori sighed. "No, I want to talk to you in private."

"Hn." Hesper snorted. "It seems as if the subject which we are going to speak of is one of great importance."

Used to her sudden moodswings, Sasori pulled up a chair and sat down. "What seems to be the matter?"

"That, Akasuna Sasori of the Sand village, is not of your beeswax." She pouted like a child.

"You have no rights talking to me like that, brat." Sasori growled, not liking this impolite Hesper.

"Gomen. My tongue spilled." She said still staring out the window.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Go away!" Hesper's chakra flared in an animalistic manner as Black Death (the fish) growled and slapped the side of the tank, feeling her mistress's distress. Sasori was quiet, now even more determined to get to the bottom of the problem.

"A brat like you should be excited of something as stupid as Valentine's Day."

"Hn, that's the point. People express more love on Valentine's Day than they normally would. What good is it for a couple to be extremely affection one day and emotionless the next day? It's a stupid holiday because there shouldn't be a need to express a love for another person on that day because the love was already expressed all the other days. It's stupid really."

"Is this what all this emotionless attitude is about?"

Hesper was silent.

"Hn. You seem to think little of me if you thought you could lie to me." Sasori's gravely voice stated.

Hesper sighed and pouted like a kid. "It don't like Valentine's Day. Last time, I had to go on a blind date with Spandex-san. It was the most mentally-scaring thing I've ever done in my life."

Sasori chuckled as Kokushibyo glared at him (if fish could glare). "You're such a child."

"I know I am. It's so unfair that Hiri get's the best deal; she was set up with Scarecrow-senpi. Hiri's so lucky. I wonder where Hidan's taking her too."

* * *

"Where are you taking me, yep?" Hiri growled has she crossed her arms.

"Shut up."

Hiri sighed and tried to get in a comfortable position. Tossed over Hidan's shoulder like some sort of rag doll, her neck, stomach, and waist begun to feel sore after a while. They've be traveling on this road for a while. At first it was fun seeing the trees and fresh air after being copped up in the base the whole day, but then the trees got boring and the birds needed a Deathnote. Seriously, it was just tree after tree after tree after tree after a bush! She growled, unhappy that she was wasting all this time wandering around while she could be praying to Jashin-sama. Yet, uncomfortable and as bored as she was, deep down inside (if there was a deep down inside) she wouldn't miss this for the world. Noting that Hidan smelled like blood (Her favorite scent after cinnamon or out-of-the-oven-freshly-baked vanilla cake), she glanced at Hidan's handsome pale vampire-like face.

"Oi, Hidan, are we there yet or are we lost, um?" Hiri asked.

"Just shut the h**l up and stop b**tching. We're almost f**king there." Hidan growled.

After a few minutes of blissful silence, Hidan finally stopped in his long trek and forcefully dropped Hiri down. Glancing around her surroundings, they appeared to be on a hill looking over a small isolated village bustling with hawkers and street vendors. Being an Anbu, Hiri instantly knew where they were-the moon cake village. A village known for it's trade, there were plenty of outdoor markets and fun games.

Confused, Hiri glanced up at the taller male next to her. "Hidan? Are you feeling alright, sure? It's not like you to bring me on a date."

Hidan snorted. "Do you know about this village?"

Hiri rolled her eyes. Like, she would know about every god-forsaken village in the world. "No."

Hidan growled. "Just work with me. Well, in the tourist thingy, it says that every f**king one of them were Buddhists."

I gasped in shock. Why would Hidan take me to such as evil place, hm? "What?!"

"Yep. No one soul prays to Jashin-sama. F them all."

She suddenly understood why we were here. "Oh, are we going to kill them all, sure?"

"Hellz yeah!" Hidan yelled unshouldering his scythe.

Face glowing brightly, she clipped her belt holding her paint brush and clay to her pants. "I love killing things."

* * *

Tired from helping Sasori out with the puppets, Hesper flopped on her hammock. The clock read 11:59 AM, the time Hiri liked to go on killing sprees. Knowing fully well that she wasn't coming back until tomorrow and that Hidan and Hiri were probably killing everyone in some far away land, she smiled, happy that Hiri found someone that appreciated her no matter what her personality was. Hesper's heart, purer than a dove, was genuinely happy for the said couple has she closed her eyes. It was awfully nice of Hidan to take Hiri on a date. Glancing at Black Death, Hesper watched him (now 3 feet long) swim serenely in the in-door pond she built with the garden. Right next to the hammock was a golden chandelier hanging from the ceiling with gold chains. However, instead of candles, there were three dishes holding water. Blowing out fire, Hesper lit the chandelier and manipulated the shapes. It veered up in the shape of a wolf howling at the moon. Then, it changed into water. The water shifted into a horse. The horse reared up and trotted around. Hesper then turned the liquid into a solid dirt form of a mouse that was twitching it's tail. The changing animals and elements entertained her for a while bringing a slow smile to her face.

Closing her eyes, turning away from the fire, she was about to go to sleep when she heard a knock on the door. Everyone in the Akatsuki had a special way of knocking weither they knew it or not. Hesper memorized all their rhythms, and yet the knock on the door was unfamiliar to her. Grabbing a knife and walking to the door, she slowly opened the door expecting Leaf Ninjas to pop out of no wear. The hallways were void of any person. Her blue head gazed left and right. Then she looked down and gasped. In a bowl, there were two small goldfish swimming around lazily. One held orange and black scales that were glistening. The one that was white and orange curiously peered at the tall girl before it and blew bubbles. Sighing happily, Hesper silently thanked whoever gave her this gift. Looking back into the hallway, she picked up the bowl and walked back into her room.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay guys, I'm sorry if this one was bad. I tried my best and I hope that counts for something. Some of you guys might be asking for them to fall in love already, but I like to take things slowly. The good news is that my computer is getting fixed so the part that is on the Word document is "hopefully" going to be recovered. Some people are probably complaining that there wasn't much action with Hidan and Hiri but I thought that the Sasori fans should get a turn. The next part is going to have thrilling tales of Ai, Hesper's student, and Hiri! See you all next time on The Dragon Twin Sisters! Ja Ne~**

**CUT!!!!!**

**Hiri: Finally! We're off air, yep.**

**Hesper: I think that was the worst chapter yet.**

**Author: My brain was on vacation! What do you expect from me? An Emily Dickison poem about the wonders and beautiful of love affairs?**

**Hesper: No, I was actually expecting something like the Halloween chapter.**

**Author: I'm not good with romance in real life and in the stories.**

**Hiri: Yeah, like we didn't notice that, yep.**

**Author: Oh shut up.**

**Japanese Words:**

**Senpei: a people of each statsus who you respect highly.**

**San: a polite way to call someone.**

**sama: someone you highly respect like a god**

**Ja Ne: See Ya~  
**


	18. The two instinces: Fight or Flight!

**A/N: I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but my computer crashed and I had to wait until the people we done fixing it. And so...I FINALLY HAVE MY FILE BACK!!! Isn't that great? Isn't it great fantastic? *Nods* So, I'm offically back!!! Although i really never left! Finally, I don't have to go to the library everyday and have that lady glare at me everyday!!!! (And have a kid pull on my hair....) LOL!! ITACHI! The disclaimer my dear sir!**

**Itachi: VicEveSamAlex does not own the characters of Naruto in any way shape or form.**

**Thank you!**

* * *

Ai's POV

Crud. Crud. CRUD!!!!! Who was kidding? 'It's time to end this?' Crud! CRUD!!!!! I was so confident before. Certain of winning. The famed "Dragon Twin Sisters of Konoha" were supposed to be of equal strength? Bull. Hiri was twice as strong as Hesper-sensei. I wouldn't dream of taking on sensei, why would I be fighting someone stronger than her?

"This is it? This is all there is to the f**king "prodigy of the Takinonaga clan", yep?" Hiri crowed. "Ha! Hesper keeps going on and on about you s**ty kids and your 'greatness' and that you're going to be the next 'Konoha Sannins', hm. What a f**king joke!"

My right hand gripped the giant shuikren tightly. How vulgar. How low. White anger coursed through my spine and nervous system as the phrase repeated itself in my mind. "Prodigy of the Takinonaga clan". Prodigy of the Takinonaga clan".

"WHAT KIND OF PERSON STRIKES AT A FAMILY'S HONOR??? MY CLAN IS NOT PART OF THIS FIGHT!!!!!!!!" Shattering my emotionless mask, I screamed at her with eyes of a demon. "Aren't you and Hesper best friends?"

_"Ai, your age, gender, and history mean nothing in the battlefield. APOLOGIZE for your quick tongue." _

_"There are two types of fights. A fight of life and death and a fight of yourself. No matter what you must not lose a fight of honor." _

_"You guys are going to be strong. I can feel it." _

_"Hesper-sensei, I can't! I'm too tired! Please, I'm only a girl!" "So?!?!?!? Do you think that your gender matters when your best friend is this close to death? Do you think your enemy with spare you just because of your gender? No! We girls are at a disadvantage. Boys think that girls are weak. They take advantage of us in fights. They scorn us. They judge us. They think we're just weak little babies that couldn't defend themselves! Are we? Are we? Are men at a higher class than us? You shake your head now, but in the future, you will see the difference between men and women; you will see the power they have. Right now, your training here is to prove them wrong! Through hard work and determination, we will show how wrong they are!" _

"Phseew, of course she's my friend. I can't deny that, but she's soft. She's filled with ideals bulls**t, yep. The will of fire. The will of fire. Trust in the next genernation. Have hope and dreams. Peace. Sometimes, she makes me sick." Hiri-senpai vanished into a rainbow.

Then she rematerialized in front of me. Kakashi and the others, a few feet behind me, made moves to help but were stopped by dragon. Like a cobra, Hiri's bloodstained hand snapped forward on my trachea and started squeezed. With monstrous strength she lifted me up from the ground to her eye level. For a couple of frightening minutes, those bloodshot demon-like eyes stared at me. The whites of her eyes were red. A crazed animal-like beast glared at me with a cruel grin. My eyes widened in fear as my mouth gapped open. An animalistic power took over me. I started struggling like a frightening rabbit. My instinct was to wriggle out, to escape, to survive. My cold trembling hands scratched at her grip. Kicking wildly, my legs were kicking the air.

"Ideals. Honor. Family. Dreams. Ha! You people make me sick." She squeezed harder, causing a hot, sticky, metal liquid to collect in my mouth. "For a while, I've kept a mask on my face pretending to be on Konoha's side, pretending to be a SAINT for Jashin's sake, and pretending to be LOYAL, yep. Wake up and smell the blood!" She squeezed harder, causing me to cough up the liquid. Blood. "This is reality. Only those with power can survive. Only those with power can afford to have goals. Only those with money can live in this cruel world. Academy students like you are to be crushed, hm! Dreams are nothing!"

Drawing back her hand, she hurled me into Kakashi's crest. Caught by surprise, we both fell on the ground, dazed. Sasuke groaned. "Ai-san, are yo-" Immediately, I pushed his hands away and stood back up like Hesper-sensei taught me. Throwing my weapon aside and running towards Hiri, my hands automatically began forming hand signs. Ox. Hare. Monkey. Rat...

"No, Ai! Don't be reckless!" Kakashi barked.

Dreams. What are they? What is a dream? A wish in life. That's way Iruka-sensei said, but Hesper beat that belief right out of our minds. "Listen Ai, the most important things in life are friends and dreams. I don't care want Iruka ever said about that stupid Ninja Way and the mission. Dreams are the most important thing. What is your dream? Hm, so that's your dream. It's good. Don't let everyone ever laugh at it. Dreams are everything. Without dreams, mankind does not exist. Put your friends and dreams above all else, you hear me? 'Cause one day, someone will come along in your path and make your dream fog up. Never lose sight of it. Your dream is your most important thing. Got it?" That's the last thing she ever said to me before she left.

Bird. Tiger. Hose. Snake. Dragon. Dog. LION.

At the last hand seal, I twisted my hands and hear a sickening crack. "Lighting styled: Lion's mane!" I shouted as I held onto my hand as if I was doing the chidori. Blue sharp chakra began spinning into a ball in my palm intimidating the rasangen. Unable to stand the lightning, my raw skin stretched and grew irritated. Like the chidori, sharp chirping sounds came from the justu. Needles stabbed the bones harshly causing tears to form at my eyes. Cracks spilt the air as I heighten my justu. Argghh. It hurt. Lightening crawled up my arm consuming it whole. Quick to the eye, lightening blots shot out and struck a tree, causing it to burst into flames. Growling and snarling, a male lion begun to form at my hand.

"ARGHHH!!!!" Running towards Hiri with all my might, I struck out my hand.

* * *

HIRI'S POV

Ha. Who did this noob think she was? All about dreams. She was all like, oohhh, I'm going to kill you…. and like argghhh this is my stupid attack. Pathetic. Unlike me, she was so hopelessly weak that I was almost ashamed to be called her sensei's friend. What did Hesper think she was brainwashing children's ideas of that dream and honor bulls**t. That was stupid of her to do that. Baka Hesper. Baka.

"ULTIMATE TAIJUSTU!!!" The brat roared. As she sprinted towards me, I sighed, pocketing my pen and clay. Why waste my art on some brat who wasn't even worthy? When she was right in front of me, my hand shot out and grabbed a part of her arm that wasn't covered in lightning. Then, using rotation, I grabbed it and twisted it back with a sickening sound that reminded me of a vaccum. As she started to fail down, I teleported from her back to her front and poked her hard in the center of the torso (not that I knew about pressure points or anything). With blank eyes, she slowly tumbled on the ground, but before her body collapsed, I flipped the body up with my feet and side kicked Ai so hard that she went crashing through the tree. In the gray smoke, I narrowed my eyes to see what happened to my vic-fighter. Fighter…not a victim, yep.

* * *

Ai's POV

"Where is your strength, yep?" Hiri shouted like a person on crack. "Aren't you going to defend your pathetic dream?"

I smirked despite all the blood pouring down my forehead like sweat. With shaky knees, I propped myself up with the tree and wiped the sticky blood off. Shoulders cracking and limbs screaming, I stood up and flexed my fingers. Thank god Hesper-sensei taught me- Wait! What was I saying? Hesper wasn't my sensei anymore! No! I hate her! She was on the opposite side! If she was the enemy, I couldn't call her my sensei! Right. Flexing my fingers again, I kept my eyes on the crazed person in front of me while trying to stay conscious.

"You are just like Hesper when she was a kid! Full of foolish dreams and hopes. I set her straight, yep. Brought her back to earth, sure. I hate hippie ideas like yours."

I smirked. "If you weren't underestimating me….then you would have seen this!" Fisting my hands, invisible wire reflected the sun. Twisting the torso, I pulled the wire strings tied to my fingers. Like a puppetmaster, I had control over the wires directly buried underneath a thin layer of dirt on the ground. Suddenly, hundreds of normal sized shuriken erupted from the hard cracked dirt. Swinging my arms wildly, I made the shuriken begun to fly around like a tornado.

Sighing, Hiri said, "Do you think I'm that stupid?" Right before my eyes, she disappeared into a puff of white smoke.

Glancing around, I mentally cursed myself for losing the enemy. Where could she be? Where could she hide? Good thing that I'm in the thick forest, so she couldn't see me.

Suddenly, a loud menacing voice rumbled out. "If you weren't underestimating me…then you would have lived longer ,yep!"

Feeling a kunai pressed against my neck, I realized that the person she was fighting with the whole entire time was a shadow clone, yet the shadow clone didn't make any hand seals. How did she do that? I was watching her from the very beginning and she didn't weave a signal hand seal! That was impossible unless it was genjustu, but this wasn't genjustu. What on earth was going on?

Behind me was the very demon herself: Hiri who was chuckling in a threatening manner. "How did I replace myself with a shadow clone? Easy, hm! The very moment I held your arm with that lightning substance, I noticed that you dug all your shuriken into the ground I kicked you away, and when your head hit the tree, sure? I hid behind the same tree and had a kage a no bushin, yep!" A cruel grin stretched across her face. "Say good bye to the-"

"Hiri." A man cleared him throat. "The leader wants us."

Leader? What leader? Those people had a leader? No time to dwell. Had to get her distracted.

"Aw! What the f**k Kakuzu! I was going to kill someone, yep! Can't this wait for-"

The voices were dim. Too dim.

"NOW!" Kakuzu yelled in an angry tone.

Pouting, Hiri stowed away the kunai and kicked me towards the ground. Groaning with pain, I was about to stand up when she stomped on my ribcage and cracks reached my ears. Hissing from the pain, I put my arm over my ribcage. Ow. Ah. It hurt. It hurt like heck. No. I couldn't complain now. I have to defeat the enemy. I couldn't give up.

"Now Hiri." "Fine fine! Hold your horses old man, yep." Hiri said climbing onto the unscratched dragon that was fighting with my team.

"Hn. You're so slow." The guy named Kakuzu said. "I bet Hesper would be faster."

Hesper. Right. I could get information about my sensei. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY SENSEI?" I shouted as my lungs cracked in pain from the sudden outburst. "Ha. Well if I told you…then I'd have to kill you. Besides, now she's a super dangerous crazed evil S-ranked criminal that practically drinks blood, yep." Hiri said as my vision grew darker.

Darn! Posion? No. I couldn't go down. I had to beat Hiri. I wasn't done yet. I had to-

* * *

Right now the other "super dangerous crzed evil S-ranked criminal that practically drinks blood" was "talking" to her friends.

"C'mon people! Sing with me! Over the water and through the cave to the leader's office we go!" Hesper sang as she walked backwards.

"Hesper-senpai! Don't do that again, hm! You nearly scared the living heck out of us." Deidara complained.

Mishearing what he said, she pouted. Her singing was awesome! "We're off to see the Leader! The wonderful leader of dawn!" She crowed to Wizard of Oz.

Sasori sighed. "Out of you yes. I can't believe that you can slip out of our grasps like that so easily."

Hesper stopped singing and started skipping. "Whaddda you mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaan? I'm not strong! I'm only a little girrrrrrrrrlllll."

Deidara sweated dropped. "What about that guy that was stealing that woman's purse?"

Sasori vividly remembered the man with gray and brown rags that snatched the purse from the stupid woman. Surprising even the great master Sasori, Hesper left go of the 5 grocery bags that she carried in each arm. Darting through the crowd like they were standing still, Hesper was able to wrap her arm around the man's throat and catch her bags before they fell on the ground without Sasori even processing the woma'n stolen posession. Handing the bags to Sasori, Hesper gripped the man's throat in a taijustu move that locked his arms and legs together. Her lush mouth was whispering something in the man's ear too low for Sasori to hear. Her long aqua hair sheilded the expressions on her face. But in a matter of seconds, the missing ninja of the waterfall was reduced to a pit of tears and was blubbering about becoming a priest. Handing the pitiful man some money, she showed him a map to a temple of monks. Walking back to the confused girl, she encouragely offered some scolding words that frighten the victim of the crime, but then her decilate mouth changed the words into ones of comfort. Now, more than ever, Sasori was on guard. Not only was she skillfully in physically attacks...but she did a hell of a good job of acting and messing with people's minds.

Hesper cheeckly smiled. "I don't understand what you mean. I would NEVER hurt another soul!" Her mask disappeared as her tonuge grew out like a snake. _**"Right Deidara...senpai?" **_

Sasori took note of the evil aura and the dark shadows that were scaring off Deidara. Not that HE was scared. Sasori was too brave to be scared.

Deidara gulped. "Right...right...right, hm."

Hesper smiled. Second verse! "Through the river and with your friends to the leader's office we go~~~~!!!!!

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**A/N: I hope you liked it! **

**Rate and Review!**

**-VicEveSamAlex**

**-Spencer the Ramen King**

**-Neji/Ms. Goldweek**


	19. No namer

**A/N: HELLO EVERYONE! *smiles in a cheeky way*Today I want to-**

**PUNCH!**

**Author: OUCH! What was that for?**

**Hesper: You never updated in the longest time!**

**Hiri: You never wrote, yep!**

**Author: I-I h-h-ave a er...good reason...**

**Both: WHAT?**

**Author: I got distracted by this shiny thing! *holds up a shiny CD***

**Hiri: YOU IDIOT! WHO WOULD GET DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING AS STUPID AS THAT, SURE?**

**Hesper: *Drools a bit***

**Hiri: besides her.**

**Sasori: Are you idiots going to do the disclaimer?**

**Hiri: NO!**

**Sasori: ...VicEveSamAlex does not in any way, shape, or form own the characters, merchandise (okay that part's a lie), music, shows, or plot of Naruto. She had a whole song about it...**

**Author: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I no steal so you no sue!**

**Hiri, Hesper, and Hidan: That was lame.**

**Author: I'll like to see you do better!**

**Hiri: Roses are red, Violets are blue...wait, if violets are blue...then why are they called violets...yep?**

**Hesper: Roses and blue, dasies are red, tomorrow, i'll make sure to kill you dead! *says in a sing-song voice***

**Author: ...**

**Hiri: ...**

**Author: good...try...**

**Hidan: Roses and red, violets are blue and I'm through with you. *Walks away***

**Everyone: OMG! He had enough brainpower to rhyme?**

**So...this all means that...**

**THIS CHAPTER IS NOW STARTING!

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**Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. People all make mistakes. Shut up! I know you're laughing, yep! I know you are! And now you're calling me crazy aren't you, yep? Oh, no, now you're denying the fact that you called me crazy! Now you think I'm insane don't you, hm? I know you are! I made a simple mistake! That's it! Probably my first one! See? There you go again! You're blaming me!

"See? You got us lost!" Hidan shouted at me, towering over my height.

"It was not my fault, hm! The stupid map was being d*** stupid!" I roared as I drew to my full height.

"The map is perfectly fine." Kakuzu stated coldly.

"Well...well...PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES, HM!" I barked back.

"Well, thanks to you we're lost." Kakuzu rubbed in.

"WHO SAID WE'RE LOST! I think we're perfectly fine!" My voice jumped an octave.

The cool grass tickled our feet as it swirled in the wind. My hair, tied in a bun with two senbon chopsticks, had bangs covering one of my eyes. My yellow hair danced in the wind as I tilted my chin to let the cool droplets of water run down the crevices of my skin, yep. We were currently in the Waterfall country (I think, yep. Wait...is that even a country? Isn't it a city, sure?) the land famed for the rainstorms clouding the sky. Punishment from Almighty Jashin. Rain is Jashin's will of showing sins. He is angry at these mortals. They have sinned and have not repented for their sins. Yes, I can say that those filthy mortals have all sinned. Oh what would Jashin say? Not converting to our faith is a sin worthy of the depths of Hell, yep, but for converting into other religions! Such act of crime will never go unnoticed by our great Lord. The rain continued to fall down and crash onto the ground creating great puddles. Rain is a sign of sin. Jashin is angry.

* * *

We were entering the country of my birth, the Fire Country. I was amazed, shocked by the previous event. The leader of the Akatsuki appointed me, a newbie with only months of experience in the Akatsuki, a leader for this mission. Usually, Sasori-danna is placed in charge. Understandable, he's much more level headed. However, to a cause which I do not know of, prepares on a whim, he appointed me, my third important mission in the Akatsuki. We were to infiltrate and secure ourselves a scroll from a temple in the Fire Country. Fortunately for me, I was able to hide my disappointment. Kisame-niichan was traveling to the mists of Konoha itself and securing the nine-tailed beast. My heart wishes to follow him, but I can not if Leader-sama does not assign me to that mission. I feel that he still is wary of Hiri and I. Understandable, we were new recruits.

I sprinted in from of the others as I sneered. How slow! Sasori practically crawled with a speed that matched those of a baby's and Deidara flew on his bird in plain view. Plain view! Honestly! If the enemies had enough brains...he would already figure out that Deidara was a Earth-type, long distance, and used clay. These men, were they really the elite Akatsuki? Sometimes it is hard for me to believe it.

"Hurry up! We are to get to the Fire Country by nightfall!" I barked.

Deidara gaped at me. "Are you joking, hm? Even for us that's-"

"I don't care! We are to complete this mission to the best and quickest abilities!" I shouted.

Sasori sighed. "We would be wasting our energy and chakra supply."

"The quicker we get there, the less chance of the object of our desire being transferred into a different location." I stated coldly.

The rain spattered on our straw hats at a great speed. Pouring down in damped my hair, which was in tight buns on the side of my head. Soft blue bangs blew in front of my eyes obscuring my vision. My hawk-like eyes focused start ahead, unfazed at the droplets of water flowing on the edge of my nose. The rain clouds covered the sun from our skin, dipping the world in grays and pale blues. The sky was crying. The Gods were weeping heavy tears. Cowards? I think not. Maybe they knew of a evil deed to happen in the near future. I wonder if they knew something pertaining to me, that I didn't.

* * *

It was a sad day in Konoha. It was raining. It was raining very hard. The Gods were crying. For who? For one man. That's right. The Third.

Ai glared at the sky above. Why? Why? Why did the Third have to die? It wasn't fair. Rain splattered down as it trickled through her hair and eyelashes, cooling down her anger. It was all Orochimaru's fault. Orochimaru killed the one that was close to her! What would the town do now? Ai closed her eyes. If only...the Third Hokage chose a successor before him. Maybe...maybe this would all be fixed.

Kakashi sighed. "I wonder...who will be the next Hokage." The rain flattened his hair as he looked towards the sky; it was gray...crying for the great man.

Iruka, walking nearby them, sighed. "He'll have to step into some great shoes."

Sakura frowned as her short pink hair covered her eyes. "Iruka-sensei, what if the next Hokage was a GIRL?"

Kakashi was deep in thought. "I heard rumors about that..."

Ai wasn't paying attention. It didn't matter. The old man was gone forever.

"...that's why their called them the Dragon Twin Sisters."

She whipped around to gap at her sensei. "Wha?"

"Oh...Hesper never told you?"

Ai felt chills on her spine. "T-tell me what?"

"The Third Hokage was forced by the counsel to find a successor...a next Hokage." Kakashi continued walking even as Ai stopped. "He had two options..."

Her stomach plummeted as the rain went cold. "Y-you can't mean..."

"The two candidates were Hiri and Hesper, but then after a lot of consideration, it was decided that Hesper would be the Hokage."

Iruka, a fellow teacher, ninja, and colleague, looked up in surprise. "How do you know that, Kakashi? I had no idea! But...why Hesper?"

Ai knew why. Her dry mouth opened. "It's because she had virtues and morals that no other person had."

Everyone's head whipped around in shock to here her croaky voice. Ai hasn't talked about her since her battle with her Hiri; her voice made them all jump.

Sakura frowned. "Was she really that respected?"

Kakashi nodded. "Oh...yes...there's this quote about the two of them: Respected or feared, the calm or the storm, neither stronger than the other."

Ai sighed. How she wished that quote was true. Hiri was like...a billion times stronger than her sensei.

"Hesper was ready to be the successor of the Hokage. She would have...if she didn't abandon the leaf village." Kakashi shivered. "Imagine...being ruled by a missing-ninja."

* * *

I sneezed. Screw Kakuzu and his scrawny butt. Screw him to Hell. He was too old and fat to let them sleep in the hotel. Seriously, if he just freakin' paid the lady, Hidan and I wouldn't be sleeping in the freezing cold forest. Stupid Kakuzu, hm. I glared over at him. He's like a freakin' repitle, yep! That Grandpa's just there looking like the world's all fine! That stupid miser. I sneezed.

"Are you cold?" Hidan sneered.

I shivered. "No, yep!"

Kakuzu paused. "So...are you?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, yep!"

Hidan twitched, quite angry. "You're saying no and yes at the same time!"

"I'M NOT COLD!" I yelled as I sneezed again. "Kakuzu's ugliness is just infecting my breathing patterns, um!"

Hidan glared at Kakuzu. "Why couldn't we stay at a f***ing hotel? And stop effecting her breathing pattern! It's annoying me!"

...That was 30 minutes ago...now...I was cold. The fire was out because of Kakuzu's cheapness. Damn him and his stupid stupidiness! Stupid...rubber duckies from hell...Stupid...Stupid...

"ACHOO!" I sneezed. Stupid nose and its sneezes...why couldn't it just shut up? Curse it. Curse you all. Curse you all! Curse Kakuzu...stupid man. Stupid men. Stupid people.

I glared at Kakuzu...he was already sleeping...stupid man. As I huddled in my sleeping bag, I cursed at that man. Glaring at his sleeping figure, I grabbed a pebble and threw it at his mask. He didn't stir, hm. OMG! I just thought of a game, yep! How much rocks could you throw at Kakuzu without his knowing...

One...

Two...yep...

Three...

Four...yep

Five...

Six...

Seven...sure

Eight...

Nine...

Nine 1/2...

"What the hell are you doing?" Hidan asked.

I chuckled and whispered through a stuffy nose. "Throwing rocks at Kakuzu...yep!"

Hidan paused with a WTF look on his face. Then, he picked up a pebble and threw it at Kakuzu.

I frowned. His aim was better than mine...UNACCEPTABLE! "50 points for the nose."

"100 points for the eyes!" He whispered as he scooted next to me.

* * *

I was sprinting down the tunnel with a black cloth over my mouth. Silent as a shadow and fast as the cheetah. Every guard I pasted as quickly sliced my my large sword without even a scream. Two minutes...and only 50 guards. I wasn't going fast enough. Hiri would already be done in one minute. I flexed my muscles as I cut another chunin's throat. A large explosion sounded out in the west of the fort. Good. A distraction. Sasori was in the North part of the building. I hope he was taking out more than I was. As I came to another dead end a thousand running feet passed by me. Blending into the shadows, I squashed my body against the wall. Use the least amount of chakra possible here. These were the small fries. Where was the scroll? The scroll...the scroll.

"There he is?" A low voice growled as I swung around.

_He? _

"Get him!"

Last time I checked...I was not a guy! I twisted around and created a large arc of blood with my silver sword. As someone parried it with a kunai, I struck it down knocking that person out. Running away, I spun into a empty hall. Dust layered the floor as the doors was cold and shut..probably shut for the last century.

My breath made cold wisps of clouds in the air. Realizing that I could be found with that, I tried not to breathe through my mouth. My blue eyes blinked and closed, hiding from the harsh reality. Before we came in the Fire Country...I had a plan. A deadly plan for this mission. My throat gulped, trying to breathe. It was so hard breathing...so hard. The palms of my hands were sweaty and cold as I practiced breathing. I had to do it. Yes, I had to. It wasn't about if I could do it. I had to follow through my plan. Yes. There was no doubt about it. The darkness shrouded my eyes as the moon lit up my grimace. Forgive me Sasori, Deidara. This is not my choice. My bandaged hand slowly reached for my bag. Holding the small zipper, I slowly opened it. Squeezing my eyes shut, my heart stopped in fear. No. I HAD to do this! I had too! There was too many people relying on me! My hands started shaking. No, this couldn't happen. I always screwed up when someone depended on me. Plunging me hand into the rug sack, I gripped the mysterious object inside it and balled my fist so tight, that the object nearly cracked. I had to do this. Sorry everyone.

Sorry Sasori.

Sorry Dei Dei.

Sorry Kisame.

...sorry Hiri.

* * *

Sasori struck down another faceless anbu in frustration. Where was the scroll? Every room they were in was occupied with numerous ninjas and weopans, but none seemed to hold the scroll.

Five ninjas tried surrounded him. Just as he was about to strike and kill another, a cold voice cut through the air and sent chills up Sasori's spine (which wasn't scientifically correct).

_"Stop."_

He turned around, slowly to see who was behind him. An anbu was walking in the midst of his fallen comrades. The victims on the ground were groaning in pain as their immune system fought against Sasori's poison.

The young man began to attack Sasori with the stanard kantana. Sasori smirked. Why did this Anbu think he was any more of power than the rest?

"You have attacked my comrades. I will never forgive you." The man weilded the kantana with ease and begun destroying all of the puppets Sasori had before.

He growled at how well the man was coping. Two minutes and he wasn't dead. (Which was a big achievement in Sasori's book.)

"Who the hell are you?" The Akatsuki member asked.

"A reaper of justice." The blade struck down as Sasori blocked it with his tail.

"Is that all?" Sasori asked in a mocking voice.

"Yes, that is all."

Then to the red-hair's amazement, the anbu cut through the scorpian tail and cut a bit of Sasori's mask. The Akatsuki cursed.

Damn. Who was this guy?

* * *

Kakuzu was being extra nasty. After I got 510 points and Hidan 500, Kakuzu turned around, found himself buried in a pile of paper airplanes, pebbles, leaves, and sticks, and yelled at me to go to sleep. Stupid old man, yep.

There was a moment of silence as I grew bored. There was nothing to do. There was ABSOULETLY NOTHING TO DO! I buried my head in Hidan's shoulder, who was still sitting next to me.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Shut up, just enjoy it."

"Hn."

"Oh, shut up, yep."

* * *

**A/N: I know that's not the best and it's truly a filler and it sucks a yeah. I haven't updated in forever either. But that's because I had summer school, tutoring, and voluteering. Don't worry, since summer is almost over. I will have time to write.**


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